Intentional Living

Choosing Joy

August 1, 2018 by 0 Comments
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Every month, I choose a theme to set the tone for how I want my month to go. I starting this practice four years ago and it amazes me what transpires around each themes. What I intend to feel and focus on always presents a lesson to learn. I find that at the end of the month, I have created momentum to welcome the attribute into my life.

Basically, the universe delivers circumstances where I can exercise whichever muscle I say I want to strengthen. For instance, the month I chose patience was trying, but I did become more patient because the opportunities and intention were there and I met them with the willingness to grow. The month I chose stillness was the slowest month socially, but with plenty of time to learn to be still.

The universe meets us where we are at and provides the tools and lessons needed to activate our desired outcomes.

This month, I am choosing joy. I wanted to choose a theme where I knew I could gain more strength and be celebratory because August is my birthday month and I love birthdays! My intention is to welcome more joy into my life and choose joy when I feel negativity creep in. I want to calibrate my brain towards joy and rewire the pathways that default to lower vibrations like anger, sadness, judgement, jealousy and anxiety.

Choosing joy does not mean that happiness is a constant state. It means, when joy is the hardest to feel, I want to work on choosing it and strengthen my emotional resilience.

Going through hard things makes joy even greater.

When I visualized what this would look like, it thought about those moments when I feel my face scrunch up because a smile just isn’t enough to express how happy I feel. I call these heart smiles and have been known to use the expression “you/it made my heart smile” because I feel the joy so deeply. People, experiences, nature and certain memories are things that bring so much joy, my heart bursts with happiness. The great thing is that feeling is available to me at all times.

For instance, I waited a long time to get married, I have the heart scars to show it. There were so many sad endings and at points, I didn’t know if it would happen for me. Then, I got very specific and intentional to attract the relationship I desired. When I met my husband, I knew it was him. It was the most sure I had ever been in my life. I told my close friend that I met the man I was going to marry after our first date. Sure, it sounds strange, but I knew it.

Fast forward to our wedding day, I could not get down the aisle fast enough to marry him. He was standing at the end of the aisle beaming, my eyes were fixed on him. My heart was smiling and instead of crying tears of joy, I had perma-grin, my heart found joy. Even as I type this, I can feel that emotion of seeing him as I walked down the aisle well up inside my heart. It is a beautiful feeling: joyful, exciting and deep.

Joy lives deep within us and is ready to be recalled at a moments notice.

So what can one do when they feel negativity creeping in? Try this practice to help retrain the brain to find joy:

  • Identify one of the most joyful moments in your life; one where you felt like your heart would burst with happiness.
  • Now, REALLY feel it. Feel it in your heart, your mind, your skin, your gut…
  • Sit with that feeling.
  • Breathe in the positive vibes that memory provides.
  • Notice the energy shift that occured because you just took a moment to choose joy.

Remember: this feeling is available to you at any time. You can access it whenever you feel a lower emotional state. Just take a moment to practice this exercise at those times and the feelings of joy can arrive. The more we stop negative emotions from taking over and choose joy, they less frequently our brain will want to default to negativity. This practice raises your vibration and since like energy attracts like energy, higher vibrations will arrive.

What will you choose to focus on this month?

Full Beaver Moon

November 3, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Tonight is the Full Beaver Moon, named after a creature that works hard to get their job done. With hard work, they can change the course of a river. By learning the flow of water and working with such a powerful force, beavers are able to use water to their advantage to finish their work. Even though a beaver works diligently it also spends quality time with its family..there is a lot that can be learned here.

It is easy to fall into the glorification of busy trap and I can’t remember how many times I have allowed my work to take over my life. I have lost balance on several occasions because I wanted to finish a task only to find myself a slave to my to-do list and ignoring those closest to me. There was once a time when I was home only 10 days out of the month and they were not consecutive.

I craved connection and balance, but didn’t know how it was possible with the demands of my job. There was a desire to settle down, find my person, have time to see friends and get back in shape. It felt impossible when I thought about how much time each of these desires required. It took me a couple years and learning to make necessary endings to find balance, but I am happy I did.

This is the time to make sure to spend time with the people who are important to you. Create the space to just be together instead of creating elaborate plans. Find the time to just be with yourself and others by putting down the phone and calendars and holding space for connection. The present moment is where connection thrives. There are enough parties and schedules to keep us distracted. The hard work is letting go of those distractions and learning to just be, which takes practice.

During this season, it is important to finish projects as the holidays approach. Make sure that you have created space to enjoy quality time where you are present and engaged. Work should never hinder the ability to focus on self care. It is important to ensure you are taking care of yourself in order to be available and present for the ones you love.

Tonight, think of ways to incorporate stillness, connection and self care into your busy life. Write down anything that does not serve you. Perhaps there are things that are just schedule fillers that can be released to create the space needed to be still. At first it may be uncomfortable, but stick with the practice. What will result is a deeper connection to yourself and the opportunity to truly be there for another.

Creating a Side Hustle

September 25, 2017 by 3 Comments
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Starting a business is one of the most exciting and terrifying things I have done. When I decided to go into business, I had no idea what I needed to do. I just knew I wanted to help people. The idea of coaching was presented to me by a stranger and when I asked those close to me, they agreed that he was right.

I didn’t know where to begin, but the more I thought about it, I realized it was where I needed to be.

One of the questions I ask my clients is “What is something people consistently ask or need from you?” There is a wealth of information in this answer. Each of us have talents and will find that we are asked to do the same favors or asked for the same advice time and again. When I answered this question, the answer was coaching, mentoring or training.

Starting a business was something I would think about, but was afraid to embark on because it seemed too difficult to navigate. There were so many pieces to the puzzle, and I didn’t want to take the time to figure them out, especially while I was working for someone else.

When I finally started my business, I realized that every job I had before gave me tools to help run a business. I noticed where the skills I acquired working for companies were coming in handy and helping me create a business. Each experience provided an outline for a process that I would need to create.

Now, I coach several women who want to start their own businesses. Many who want to start a side hustle before leaving their jobs. I love watching the progression from “I think I want to …” to “I am so happy I started …!”

If you are thinking about starting a business, here are a few tips to help you get started:

  1. Get clear on what you want to do: make a list of all the things you would do if money wasn’t an issue. Ask yourself: what do people tend to come to me for or ask me often? Look at your list and notice where a potential side hustle could bloom.
  2. What problem do you solve?: Think about all the things that you are good at and think about the specific problem you will solve with your business.
  3. Who is your ideal client?: Write out the attributes, spending habits, specific needs and issues this client faces. This exercise is valuable to help you hone in on who you are speaking to and recognizing your market.
  4. How will I make money?: Decide on whether you will be offering a product or service. Make a list of what your potential offerings will be.
  5. What do I need to start?: Will you need materials, a website, social media, products, a certification, investors? Figure out what you need to do before you get started and make a list and timeline.
  6. Name your business: Once all of the above steps are completed, its time to name your baby! This can take some time and you may find out that someone else has the name. I always suggest making a list of words that emulate what you are trying to say with your business and working from there.
  7. Never stop learning: if you haven’t already, pick up books, take classes, watch videos and surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Owning a business is a never ending education and have resources and a network are lifesavers.

With these steps, you will have a great start to beginning your journey as a business owner. There are many intricacies to having a business, but clarity must come first. It is also important to allow your business to be fluid and change with you as you grow.

If you would like more help on how to make your dream idea into a reality,  check out my business coaching packages to help you get started.

Thunder Moon

July 9, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Tonight’s full thunder moon is named after summer’s thunderstorms. The warm air collects as clouds clap to release their roar, commanding attention. Nature is full of thunderous sounds; like the ocean which releases a roar as waves crash down on the surface.

Waves deliver a constant and steady thunder as they move across the ocean. As a wave swells it peaks before tumbling, creating a thunderous sound. So much energy is gathered and stored until the moment when there is no choice but to release the power.

Water is a dynamic force and the ocean demands respect as it thunders and bellows yet gently holds each sea creature.

Some of the most powerful forces in nature are destructive yet graceful. A greatest strength can also become a weakness if the power is harnessed with the wrong intention.

There are many things we can say or do to create destruction in our lives. Speaking harsh words, holding grudges, physical and emotional abuse. However, the same force inside of us that creates these actions are also capable of being gracious and gentle.

Tonight is a perfect opportunity to think about what has been building up inside and release whatever no longer serves you. Pressure from holding back words and not speaking your truth creates unnecessary stress and anxiety. The full moon illuminates things we need to let go of.

If there is anxious energy surrounding an area in your life, ask the following questions:

  • Is there anything I need to say or come to terms with?
  • Is there a situation or relationship that needs attention or maybe even less attention?
  • What meaning am I giving this situation?
  • How can I release the energy around this situation?

If there are feelings that are being harbored around a certain situation, you can transform the energy you give and receive. The story you tell yourself about the situation, may perpetuate negative emotions and thoughts. Think about a way that you can reframe the narrative in a more positive or healing light.

One of the things that has always helped me when I get stuck in a spiral is remembering that everyone is operating from their level of understanding. They may be in pain and unable to consider both sides because their pain is drowning them. This empathic approach helps alleviate the feeling of needing to be understood and right…even if you are right.

Then, there are cases where you just need to let go and walk away because the other person is just too hurtful. If they are unable to reach past their pain and continue to create pain and suffering in your life, it may be time to release them.

Speaking and living your truth takes courage. It is not always easy to say the things that need to be said or even let go and walk away. But, everything is energy. Think about how a wave travels long distances to create their roar. All the energy is collected to make something beautiful.

All the energy that is being stored can be released in a loving way. Think about a time when you finally found the courage to speak the truth and how relieved you felt. That was a release of powerful energy.

In order to release the thunder within, be like the ocean. Your words or actions may take bravery and create some waves, but if the intention is with grace and love, the release can be beautiful.

May whatever you release tonight find love, grace and healing.

Snow Moon

February 10, 2017 by 0 Comments
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In the depths of winter, a stillness takes over. Snow falls, covering the ground like a blanket. All is white. Even sound is muffled by the snow’s insulation. Layers are worn to protect from the cold and keep warmth inside. The snow remains as long as the temperatures stay low. Winter is the time for shorter days and colder nights.

Snow provides a beautiful stillness.

Tonight is the full snow moon. The cold of winter has lingered and many of us have gone inward; into our homes and into our thoughts. We have put on layers to protect ourselves from the cold as well as emotional walls to keep others out. Some intentionally and other without a thought. Our defenses go up and keep things from getting in, muffling the voices and emotions that want to get through.

The snow moon is the time to notice where these walls are taking place, where the cold lingers and as a few important questions…

What is being muffled, muted or quieted?

  • Is it your voice trying to say the things your heart is dying to articulate?
  • Do you keep up a wall in order to protect your heart from being hurt?
  • Have past hurts caused a cooling down of your desires?

The beautiful thing about the snow is that underneath, growth is still occurring. In the spring, melted snow reveals that life goes on despite the cold. No matter what layer you have put on to insulate you from pain, growth is still taking place.

In order to recognize the transition, melting has to occur. Sometimes this can look like forgiveness, understanding or love. We may need to offer these to ourselves or to others. When forgiveness and love takes place, something melts. Hearts are opened and free to express. All the thoughts that swirl in our heads can lay to rest. There is no more room for bitterness, cold or judgment.

Understanding comes from opening the heart and mind.

Tonight is the perfect time to set an intention to allow melting to occur around the walls you have built. If there are emotions that need to be expressed, express them. If there are words that need to be said, say them, or journal them if your voice can’t find it’s way yet. If your desires have been quieted, do something to add heat in that area of your life and let the melting surface the buried passion.

Growth takes time. Beautiful, strong and vibrant plants are the ones that take root despite the hardships. Spring is coming and the snow is slowly melting. Allow growth to take place and feel the warmth permeate all areas of your heart.

Vibrancy

February 2, 2017 by 1 Comment
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Several years ago, I was driving down the street to work. The jacarandas were in bloom. There was a breeze creating a shower of beautiful, purple petals all the way down the street. At the end of the street was San Diego harbor. It was a dreamy morning. Everything was lined up to make beautiful day.

Everything except my energy. As I drove down the street, I felt the strangle of panic take over. My breathing became shallow and I started to hyperventilate. As I parked my car, tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t breathe. I allowed myself to sink deeper and deeper until I was paralyzed. I called in sick from the parking garage and drove home to cry.

Fast forward 6 years and I am driving down that same street and the conditions are exactly the same. I parked the car and stood underneath the sprinkle of jacaranda petals and smiled. The street was still the same. The trees were still offering their gift of beauty. The only thing that had changed was my mindset and the energy I was choosing to emit.

Think about how a lightbulb is able to shine. Energy flows through to emit light. The exchange of energy with a tiny filament can light an entire room. Cut off the energy and the room goes dim. That is amazing!

We too have the ability to allow energy to flow through us to emit vibrations that invite like towards us. For instance, the regular practice of gratitude creates more opportunities for gratitude. When we give love, it comes back. The same can be said with receiving gratitude and love. When we allow these vibrations to flow through us, we raise our frequency of vibration and therefore are more vibrant.

On the other hand, negative emotions can create the same effect within. A bad day can spiral into a bad week if we choose to dwell on it. The energy that it creates attracts things like commiseration, anxiety and stress. This is not to say that bad things won’t happen…but the energy we allow to flow through us will either brighten or dull our vibrancy.

To live a vibrant life, one has to look at the mind, body and soul. Our minds have great power over us and when we live and react from the mind, we tend to try to rationalize everything. This is where anxiety can take over. If there isn’t an answer or timeline we can create meanings which spiral into beliefs which then create like energy.

The same goes for our body. What we put into it and how we treat it creates vibrational energy that we emit. For instance, the feeling after eating a fresh salad as opposed to a greasy cheeseburger. Its no surprise that eating foods with higher vibrational energy like plants help make us feel more vibrant and energetic.

Finally our soul is our storehouse of energy. This is where vibrancy resides. Creating a routine where there is a connection to the soul is important to nurturing a vibrant life. Books, prayer, meditation, walks in nature, writing, art and stillness all have the power to connect us to our soul and create positive energy.

To create a more vibrant and energetic life, here are 10 things that will help raise the your vibrations and nurture vibrancy:

  1. Exercise
  2. Daily morning routine where you connect to your soul (it can be as short or as long as you like, just take the time to connect.)
  3. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Plants have high vibrational energy.
  4. Spend time in nature
  5. Smile
  6. Practice gratitude daily. Name 3 things you are grateful for every day. Write it down
  7. Take time to connect with loved ones.
  8. Breathe
  9. Be careful of what you take in. Think about how you feel after reading or watching something. If you notice that something brings you down, ask yourself: “Is this necessary for me to continue to consume?”
  10. Give of your time and/or resources to help others.

There is a beautiful thing that happens when we start to shine our lights more vibrantly: we light up what was once dark. When we choose to operate from a higher frequency, everything, including you seems more vibrant. This is because the vibration is actually opening the mind and eyes to what has been in front of us all along.

So This is Love

January 27, 2017 by 3 Comments
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One year ago, I went on my first date with the man I fell in love with. I had given up on falling in love as the 2016 New Year began. I gave dating it’s fair shot and found myself disappointed more times than I cared to think about. After years of dating (online, set-ups, apps…) I was ready to throw in the towel and date my passport.

During a discussion with a friend who was newly dating someone she found amazing, I told her that I would spend the year single and just focusing on my work and adventure.

“Just give it one more try.” she encouraged. “You have to keep putting yourself out there even through the disappointment.” I told her that I would think about it and maybe try.

I was scared to put my heart out there again and started to feel the comfort of solitude once more. Was this idea really worthwhile?

When I stepped back from the situation, I realized that I needed to get crystal clear on what I wanted. I saw that my expectations created a sense of control that was actually just causing stress. I wanted to intentionally put myself out there and create the heart space for love to reenter.

So this is what I did:

  • I made a list of what I really wanted and what was the most important and started to visualize this man. At first, I thought it was a joke, but the more I dug deep into what I really wanted, I could actually see and feel it happening.
  • I worked on emulating what I desired. (loving, open, compassionate…)
  • I made sure that if I agreed to go on a date, it would only be if the person seemed to align with this vision.
  • I let go of expectations…This is a big one. Letting go when the heart is involved is so so hard!
  • I trusted that the universe knew exactly who I needed in my life.

That was it. I made this decision and on January 27th, I went on a date with the most amazing man I have ever met.

Something inside of me calmed down after our first encounter. It wasn’t until a few months later that I realized my heart had found a home. 

When I think back on all the struggles, heartaches and tears, I see that I was pushing something to happen that I wasn’t really clear on. With clarity and intentional focus, everything else cleared away. There was no question or anxiety when it came to him and we came together naturally.

Getting to know and falling in love with him has been one of  the greatest adventures of my life. When I decided that I was going to get clear on what I wanted, I opened my eyes, mind and heart to whatever that would be.

I wrote this to give hope. I waited 35 years to find my person. I speak to women all the time in coaching sessions wondering when love will find them. I did not expect to find a man on a little app who happened to have the same values as me.

Don’t give up hope! When we talked about how we met, we realized that we both did the same thing to manifest each other. He had a list and visualized it too. I could not believe it. What you seek is seeking you.

When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.

-Rumi

I kept this quote close to my heart during my years of searching. So for any of you who wonder “WHEN?!” I hope this brings some peace to the “furnace” of anxiety. Get specific (I can’t say this enough) and then let go of control. He’s out there…and so are you. Find your place of patience and allow love to flow. There is peace on the other side of the struggle.

And to my lovely, intentional man: thank you for manifesting, visualizing and showing me that love is effortless and amazing with the right person.

XO

New Years Intentions

December 27, 2016 by 0 Comments
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It’s that time of year to reflect on the past year and plan for the year to come.

For many, 2016 was a year of great transition and change. There was an energy of control vs. surrender swirling about. Some plans failed and others never took off. This left many of us with the feeling of defeat. What started as the best laid plans, began to unravel as the plans were not meant to be.

2016 was a call of resilience and perseverance mixed in with immense joy. In some parts of life it was the best year ever and in others it was a struggle that seemed never-ending. There were beautiful happenings and courageous changes. Many emotions were had and lessons learned. There is beauty in such transitions and we all got through it and celebration is in order.

Winter has set in and new beginnings are on the horizon. It is a time to reflect and plan for a lovely and dynamic 2017.

Before the new year begins, spend some time thinking about what you would like 2017 to look and feel like. Create an intentional awareness by asking the following questions…

  1. What am I grateful for in 2016?
  2. What do I want to accomplish in the next 12 months?
  3. How do I want to feel next year?
  4. What can I let go of that no longer worked for me?
  5. What changes do I need to make in order to accomplish my goals?

After you’ve spent some time answering these questions, you can begin to create intentional goals for the coming year. Instead of creating resolutions that can fall apart as the year continues, setting intentions will take into account what you want to accomplish and how you want to feel. Intentions ask “why” as well as “what” when it comes to goals.

Finally, visualize each goal. See yourself accomplishing and feeling the way you desire. Spend some time each day visualizing each outcome. This is a powerful exercise and sends this desired energy out into the universe.

Remember, what we focus on expands. With a little focus through visualization, our intentions will expand and begin to take shape.

To help create momentum, I have attached a free download below. The intention is to think about different areas in your life where you may want to create a goal. Then, there is room for 1-3 actions steps needed to take to complete each goal.

2017 Goal Planning

May your New Year be filled with hope, happiness, health and love!

Harvest Moon: Return to Your True Self

September 16, 2016 by 2 Comments
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As we harvest the seeds that were planted in the spring, we can identify the intentions that thrived and the ones that needed to be let go of. Harvest is a time of hard work as well as reflection. Before the cold of winter sets in, we must complete processes and plans. There is also an element of rest and reflection to assess what is truly important.

Since the past two seasons focused on cultivation and growth, we are now drawn to focus on maturity and reward. What has grown and matured during the Spring and Summer? Revel in the fruits of your hard work and persistence. Harvest is a time of celebration. You created results and can now take in the bounty.

After we tend to what has matured, we can also notice what has remained. In essence, our true self. The parts of us that stay the same no matter what season is taking place. In the fall, trees reveal their true colors providing color and warmth to a cooler landscape. Spring and summer invited hope for new things which arrived and transpired, but there is an unwavering part of our soul that must also be celebrated. It is the place where authenticity and inner truth reside.

As the harvest moon lights up the sky, allow for illumination in your soul. Notice if there is anything that is keeping you from expressing your true nature. Release anything that is holding you back or keeping you stagnant. Embrace your true self and the road ahead with bravery.

With each full moon, there is an opportunity to set intentions for the month to come as well as release anything that no longer serves us. Here is a 5 step process that I cultivated a few years ago for setting full moon intentions…

How to Set Full Moon Intentions

  1. Meditate: sit quietly and meditate on what you want to achieve
  2. Write it Down: write down what you want to achieve, create, change or focus on
  3. Visualize: create a picture of what this looks like
  4. Let Go: release what no longer serves you and let go of anything that may be holding you back (physical, mental and spiritual)
  5. Offer Gratitude: the universe is constantly listening to our deepest desires. Offer gratitude for each gift and blessing and for the outcome of your new intentions as if they have already happened

Everything that happens in the universe starts with intention.

– Deepak Chopra

For a free intention setting worksheet  or more information on intentional living or spiritual life coaching, please email me at emily@soulsadventures.com

Finding a Coach

August 3, 2016 by 0 Comments
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The growth of the coaching industry has raised the important question of “How do I find the right coach?” When choosing a coach, it is important to find someone who you jive with, is willing to hold you accountable and will help you achieve desired results.

There are several reasons to hire a coach….

  • Set goals and get results
  • Motivation to start, continue and finish
  • Accountability partner to drive results and keep you encouraged and inspired
  • Gain clarity on your life’s purpose, career path, relationship and specific goals
  • Grow spiritually, mentally and physically: There are coaches that specialize in spiritual growth, business/career, fitness and personal growth
  • Provide support and encouragement

When hiring a coach, it is important to know that results are obtained in time with dedication to the coaching plan. Although one session can be helpful, is just a launching pad to working towards desired outcomes. In order for coaching to be successful, scheduled meetings should be made and kept, this is where accountability can work its magic. Depending on your goals, packages can be purchased for 1-12 months with savings per session being greater the longer the time commitment.

A good coaching relationship will empower you, inspire you to go above and beyond what you thought possible, tell you the truth and ask questions to stretch you.

Here are 5 things to consider when choosing a coach:

  1. Offerings and Packages: What type of coaching do they specialize in? Do they offer packages that fit within your time frame and needs? Can you customize or upgrade? These are things to consider and good questions to ask a potential coach.
  2. References: Do you know anyone that has utilized a coach and achieved results? Does the coach have customer feedback on their website? Read the reviews and see if any of them resonate with you.
  3. Personality: Many coaches offer an introductory call or email where you can see if the energy is a good fit as well as map out a plan of action for the coaching relationship.
  4. Certification and Training: What type of certification does the coach have and what training was involved? Certification is important but so is ongoing training. Does the coach continue to develop their practice and stay on top of their own development?
  5. Pricing: Does it fit within your budget? Part of creating a successful life is staying within your means. Coaching is worth the investment and financial growth can be a goal, but make sure the services meet you where you currently are to propel you in the direction you envision.

A coach can be seen as part of your team of experts. In the effort to live at your highest potential it is important to have a team behind you, keeping you healthy, in tune, motivated and accountable. Doctors, therapists, personal trainers, spiritual leaders, chefs, nannies, teachers, mentors, CPAs, financial advisors, trusted friends and coaches are just a few of the possible people who can help you enhance your life.

If you have been considering coaching to help you move towards a goal, gain clarity or take your life or career to the next level, please contact me at emily@soulsadventures.com to schedule a complimentary 15 minute call. We can talk about how coaching can enhance your life and create a plan of action.

“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”

– Timothy Gallwey