Growth

Surrender

September 1, 2016 by 1 Comment
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Imagine a fist held tightly. All it holds is the air and creates tension within the body. Then imagine the fist letting go. Notice the release of tension and free flowing air around each finger. Nothing fell out of the palm, because there was nothing to grasp.

Holding tightly onto something that isn’t there is useless and controlling. I have learned this lesson time and again. Perhaps it’s because I am Virgo or someone who does not like to feel out of control. But the minute I try to generate an outcome that seems forced, I create an unrealistic expectation, stress and anxiety.

Several years ago, I was going through a career transition and I remember thinking “I better get a job soon, I have bills to pay” as I wrote my check for my car payment leaving $23 to my name. It wasn’t for lack of trying to find a job, there just weren’t jobs available. So, I had to surrender and take a job as a courier.

I thought that I deserved a better position because of my background and transferrable skillset. My need for control was keeping me from moving forward. However, if I would not have accepted the position, I would have missed out on the opportunity that later resulted in abundant travel.

I was terrified when I let go. I thought that if I held on for just a bit longer, things would fall into place. They never did until I surrendered to the experience and the lessons that were begging to be learned.

When it feels like you are being blindly led, allow trust to take place.

The act of surrender is not giving up; It is an act of trust. This is a sacred place within the soul. A deep, vulnerable place to enter. To let the walls down around the heart and to open the soul to a possibility that can’t be seen is raw, yet absolutely exciting and brave.

There are several things I still need to surrender but each time I do and trust that everything will be alright; I am surprised by the grace of the universe. Situations that seem hopeless when in my control are completely turned around when I let go of the reigns. The universe lovingly allows me the time to realize I need to let go, and when I do, that’s where the miracles happen.

What we can’t see holds a gift if we allow it to happen. It is amazing when things are revealed after the act of trust. What I thought I needed or wanted is always replaced by something greater. With each act of surrender, I am learning that the universe really does have my back and listens to all the desires of my heart.

Summer Reading Recommendations

August 8, 2016 by 0 Comments
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The Light Between Oceans by M.J. Stedman: It is rare that fiction captures my attention but this was one that I could not put down. This is a riveting story of love, loss, adventure and the stories we tell to protect our hearts. There is a movie coming out soon, but I would definitely read the book first. The writer does a wonderful job of storytelling and painting the picture for the reader.

You are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh: Mindfulness is an important practice in order to be present and aware. It is a beautiful, short read that encourages being present, right here, right now. This is a powerful book to remind us that the present moment, the person you are sitting across from, the space you create for yourself is important to pay attention to, especially in a world full of distractions.

The Power of the Other by Dr. Henry Cloud: I strongly believe that we are the sum of the people we surround ourselves with. This book outlines how others affect our performance in all areas of life. Although we can try to not let others hold power over us, their influence can be quite strong. With interviews and research, Dr. Cloud demonstrates how our relationships and communication shape our performance, well-being and growth both personally and professionally.

The Crossroads of Should and Must by Ella Luna: This book was given to me by a friend and she proclaimed “You have to read this, it’s amazing!” I agree. It is artistic, inspirational and beautiful. The main theme of following your passion resonates deeply and is the perfect read for anyone who has ever gone through/going through a transition, created something or has struggled with taking a leap. If you want to harness your bravery, this will help and inspire.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert: A beautiful manifesto for the creative soul, with the premise that each of us contain an inner creative spark that should be expressed. It encourages creativity in a ethereal yet practical manner. I gained so much inspiration from this book and reference it often when feeling stuck in my creative pursuits. It is like having your own creativity coach wrapped in a beautiful package.

Rising Strong by Brene Brown: Brave souls unite! If you have ever experienced failure this book shows how getting back up again and again. Rising strong is a sign of inner strength. Failures are inevitable, but the way we choose to deal with them sets us apart. As always, Brene Brown backs her beautiful words up with great research and by the end of the book, you will feel empowered to try regardless of possible failure.

What are you reading this summer?

Finding a Coach

August 3, 2016 by 0 Comments
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The growth of the coaching industry has raised the important question of “How do I find the right coach?” When choosing a coach, it is important to find someone who you jive with, is willing to hold you accountable and will help you achieve desired results.

There are several reasons to hire a coach….

  • Set goals and get results
  • Motivation to start, continue and finish
  • Accountability partner to drive results and keep you encouraged and inspired
  • Gain clarity on your life’s purpose, career path, relationship and specific goals
  • Grow spiritually, mentally and physically: There are coaches that specialize in spiritual growth, business/career, fitness and personal growth
  • Provide support and encouragement

When hiring a coach, it is important to know that results are obtained in time with dedication to the coaching plan. Although one session can be helpful, is just a launching pad to working towards desired outcomes. In order for coaching to be successful, scheduled meetings should be made and kept, this is where accountability can work its magic. Depending on your goals, packages can be purchased for 1-12 months with savings per session being greater the longer the time commitment.

A good coaching relationship will empower you, inspire you to go above and beyond what you thought possible, tell you the truth and ask questions to stretch you.

Here are 5 things to consider when choosing a coach:

  1. Offerings and Packages: What type of coaching do they specialize in? Do they offer packages that fit within your time frame and needs? Can you customize or upgrade? These are things to consider and good questions to ask a potential coach.
  2. References: Do you know anyone that has utilized a coach and achieved results? Does the coach have customer feedback on their website? Read the reviews and see if any of them resonate with you.
  3. Personality: Many coaches offer an introductory call or email where you can see if the energy is a good fit as well as map out a plan of action for the coaching relationship.
  4. Certification and Training: What type of certification does the coach have and what training was involved? Certification is important but so is ongoing training. Does the coach continue to develop their practice and stay on top of their own development?
  5. Pricing: Does it fit within your budget? Part of creating a successful life is staying within your means. Coaching is worth the investment and financial growth can be a goal, but make sure the services meet you where you currently are to propel you in the direction you envision.

A coach can be seen as part of your team of experts. In the effort to live at your highest potential it is important to have a team behind you, keeping you healthy, in tune, motivated and accountable. Doctors, therapists, personal trainers, spiritual leaders, chefs, nannies, teachers, mentors, CPAs, financial advisors, trusted friends and coaches are just a few of the possible people who can help you enhance your life.

If you have been considering coaching to help you move towards a goal, gain clarity or take your life or career to the next level, please contact me at emily@soulsadventures.com to schedule a complimentary 15 minute call. We can talk about how coaching can enhance your life and create a plan of action.

“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”

– Timothy Gallwey

30 Day Challenges

July 26, 2016 by 0 Comments
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Living with intention is the cornerstone of my coaching practice. Whether I am working with a client on their career or spiritual journey, intentions are key to creating a life with desired outcomes. One of the tools that help are 30 day challenges. The fitness industry has greatly utilized this concept and a quick google search will result in several ways to get tighter abs, stronger arms and a sculpted physique.

All you need is the desire to make a change, the will to achieve the it, a plan and an accountability partner. Think about all the things that are on your to-do or wish list. Pick one of those things and see where you are in 30 days.

The key to these challenges is understanding that they are only a launch pad to healthier habits. Neuroplasticity is at work here and neural pathways are changing in the brain during these challenges. After 30 days, you will probably want to continue with the new habit or push yourself even further. Whether you choose to start a new habit or quit an old one, 30 days is a good time frame to build a foundation and you can then choose to continue to strengthen the new pathway or try something new.

I have had clients who wanted to produce more sales leads in their business, network with more likeminded individuals, read more, run more miles, spread more love and practice gratitude. Each challenge was tailored to their need and with some planning, accountability and encouraging vibes, results were created.

There are a few ways to be successful in a 30 day challenge:

  • Accountability: whether through a coach, group or trusted friend, accountability works and keeps you on track.
  • Check In Daily: send a text or email every day during the challenge to stay on top of the goal. This is a place to voice success and challenges during the 30 days.
  • Weekly Calls: Spend some time each week chatting on the phone about how the week went. Offer encouragement to each other and celebrate overcoming obstacles and milestones.
  • Reward: What is the reward for completing the challenge? Decide before starting. Reading for 30 days straight? Perhaps buy a new book. Love going to the gym now? Perhaps a new workout outfit.

Another month is just around the corner…such a great time to start something new. Let me know what you choose to challenge yourself with. If you need help creating a plan and want an accountability coach, email me at emily@soulsadventures.com.

Confidence: Interviews, Negotiations & Communications

July 14, 2016 by 0 Comments
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One of the topics that consistently comes up in coaching is finding the confidence for a job interview, salary negotiation and in personal affairs. Asserting oneself can feel uneasy because we don’t want to rock the boat. We end up stepping aside for someone else to shine and get that job or risk not getting what we really want.

Confidence comes with clarity. When we can clearly define what we want, we can visualize the outcome and communicate with confidence. Clarity is the super power when it comes to negotiations and communication. A well thought out argument is more likely to be listened to. When we can paint a clear picture or scenario of what and why we want something, we can get the point across with ease.

I remember when I wanted to negotiate my salary and felt fear and doubt rising inside of me, thwarting my confidence and telling me several excuses as to why it would not happen. I chose to sit in that painful place for a moment, but knew that I was the only one that could be my own champion. I went back and forth on approaching my boss and after careful planning, I took the leap and approached him with my proposal.

I had numbers to back up my performance, customer reviews and a number in my head that I wanted. I had done my research on comparable salaries and wanted to feel valued and appreciated. In fact, after all my careful planning, I realized that the underlying reason for my request was because I wanted to feel valued.

This can be said in personal affairs as well. We all want to be seen and heard and most of all valued. Confidence in communication does not need to be paired with arrogance, it is better partnered up with clarity.

When we communicate with confidence, we can be seen as more vibrant, attractive, intelligent and calm.

So how to boost confidence? Here are a few steps to muster courage, grow your confidence quotient and harness your inner bravery:

  1. Make a list of what you want and why. (note: the why is very important)
  2. Ask 10 people what they believe your top 3 qualities/attributes are. Notice any commonalities. (trust me: we sell ourselves short and this is a way to learn how others view us and boost confidence)
  3. Back yourself up with examples, numbers, hard facts, etc… Show them you did your homework and know your stuff!
  4. Visualize and breathe: close your eyes and see yourself negotiating, discussing and receiving. Breathe into this feeling. Find your calm and replace the anxious thoughts with confident thoughts.
  5. Power pose. If you don’t know what I mean, watch Amy Cuddy’s TED talk which has helped many people muster up courage right before the big talks/performances/negotiations.

Whether you are going in for an interview, negotiating a salary or having a hard discussion with a loved one, taking the time to find clarity and confidence will help ease the discomfort. Replace anxiety with anticipatory excitement. You are your own champion and we all want our superheroes to stand tall with confidence. Find yours within and embrace the bravery that lies inside.

For more information on coaching and a free 15 minute consult to customize a coaching package, email me at emily@soulsadventures.com

Saturn Return

June 7, 2016 by 0 Comments
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It has been known as a quarter life crisis. Around the ages of 27-31 it hits and all of a sudden something must or just changes. For some it is a subtle nudge that doesn’t go away until addressed. For others it seems devastating, like everything that had been worked towards was a sham and the feeling of starting over is too much to bear.

This time is known as Saturn Return; a milestone of reaching adulthood. Saturn takes approximately 28 years to make a full orbit around the sun from the time of birth. With each occurrence, responsibilities change, thoughts mature and a shift in mindset takes place.

Each person experiences it differently. It is a time when life does a course correct. Some learn new skills that propel them in the direction that is now waiting to be explored. Others feel this time as a difficult transition, feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. For some, it can be a period of hard work either physically, mentally or emotionally.

My Saturn Return hit me a month before my 28th birthday. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Anxiety flooded my days and I doubted my decisions as everything I had worked for seemed to just not fit any more. I knew I needed a change, but I didn’t know what I needed to do. I wanted answers immediately, but they took their time to arrive.

While I was in what felt like an endless loop of waiting, I learned some hard and valuable lessons. I started recognizing my core values and desired to live a life that aligned with who I wanted to be. This is where the pain set in: I had to give up ideas of what I thought I wanted and where I needed to be to align with what I really wanted. It was scary to think about starting over.

The more I resisted this new path, the harder things seemed to be. But, when I embraced the changes that were occurring, regardless of my attempts to control, a peace set in. I noticed that the amount of anxiety I experienced was in direct proportion to the amount of control I tried to exert. I released my grasp and a new career, friendships, cities and outlook appeared.

I had to make room for what needed to take place.

I noticed 4 phases of a Saturn Return:

  1. Humility: I felt embarrassed thinking that what I swore was my life path was actually wrong. Having to admit to myself and others that I was starting over was recognition that I did not know it all and that I still had some learning to do. OUCH!
  2. Growth: I had to learn new skills to move forward in a new career. I had to learn a lot about myself and grow from mistakes. Embracing my authenticity and bravery catapulted growth and helped me to move on and forgive myself and others.
  3. Emergence: After the inner struggle of control, I was able to emerge onto the new path. There was a new found confidence after I embraced the growth. I felt renewed and excited.
  4. Freedom: Finally accepting the end of where I thought I was heading and embracing the next phase brought a sense of freedom. There is a renewed sense of trust that occurs which feels free and lighthearted.

I have coached many people going through their Saturn Return. There are spiritual shifts, career changes, relationship and life transitions that occur. It can be scary and exciting to navigate. There is something beautiful on the other side of the struggle. It is quite lovely to see the transformations from struggle to freedom. These steps differ in time for each person, but at the end, freedom appears.

Like a caterpillar creating a cocoon, this a time of transformation. Don’t let preconceived notions take over and stunt forward movement and growth. Be open and allow the changes to happen. Celebrate each lesson and be grateful for the path thus far. Soon, the butterfly emerges and spreads its new found wings and soars into freedom.

You have escaped the cage. Your wings are stretched out. Now fly.

-Rumi

For more on coaching, email emily@soulsadventures.com

Finding Your Tribe

March 23, 2016 by 0 Comments
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For years I wanted to create a network of friendships where we encouraged, inspired and held each other accountable. Finding a group of likeminded individuals took some time as my ideals and beliefs were taking shape and solidifying. I spent a good portion of the past decade moving around and travelling the world where I made friendships but my soul longed for the deep connection of sisterhood and community.

Over the past couple years, I have watched a creation of a tribe of some very lovely souls. Some I have known for quite some time and others entered my life more recently.  A tribe does not necessarily need to live near each other;  there are common threads of love, compassion and respect.

I met each one through different circumstances and watching them form their own bonds over the years has been quite heartwarming for me. We are each different and unique, however, we mesh together in a loving and encouraging way.

I attribute finding my tribe to opening my heart and putting down roots.

I recently visited my sister in the Pacific Northwest. One day, I was sitting out on her deck amongst the treetops watching the wind blow through the pine needles. She explained how evergreens have shallow roots but continue to grow tall. Part of their survival depends on their growth in a community of other trees. This communal aspects helps protect the trees’ vitality and against the elements.

Their roots grow outward and the mingling of roots help the trees create strength…just like the mingling of differing backgrounds can create strength. Throughout storms, the intermingled root systems reveal and produce the strength of the community.

Another attribute of evergreens is the ability to stay green during the darker times of winter. Even when light is dimmed and other trees shed their leaves and become dormant, evergreens showcase their color. A tribe supports each other to shine amidst life’s hardships and darkness. When one is going through a particular hard time, the rest of the tribe can hold them up and provide strength and light.

Think about your own friendships and ask the following questions…

  • Does this person encourage me to be the best version of myself?
  • Is there a spirit of love?
  • Do we align on ideals and respect each other’s differences?
  • Are we honest with each other, even when it’s difficult?
  • Do they inspire and provide light during my dark times and vice versa?

Take some time today to offer gratitude for your tribe. Send them a card, text or call them to express your love and gratitude.

Find your tribe, love them hard. – Danielle Laporte

Are you going through a transition? Looking for some clarity? Let’s work together!

Loneliness vs. Solitude: How to Embrace Being Alone

March 9, 2016 by 0 Comments
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There is a great difference between loneliness and solitude. Being alone takes on the meaning that you give to it. The difference is in yearning versus contentment. Lonely breeds longing and roots itself in loss. Solitude breeds stillness and is rooted in contentment.

I learned this lesson while living in a small coastal town when I had come home from work one day to find that my boyfriend had packed up all of his belongings. He was leaving in the morning. He was my only true connection in this location. Loneliness washed over me when he drove away the following morning.

I cried and mourned for weeks wondering how I could survive in that town alone. It was one of the loneliest times of my life. My family and friends lived far away and I was on the road a lot for work which left little time to nurture local friendships. No matter what I tried, all I felt was sad and lonely.

One day, I opened my eyes to the lesson that was being provided to me. In stillness, I began to hear my intuition and noticing what my soul had been trying to tell me. My intuitive sense was dulled and I was not practicing the gift that was inside me the entire time.

I started exercising this gift and appreciating the fabric of my soul. And what was once the loneliest times of my life soon became one of the richest times of my life.

Without this solitude, I would not have taken the time to search my soul to get back to myself. I realized my identity was tied to a person and a job and lost my authenticity. I had a choice to wallow or grow.

Embracing the growth was difficult but I learned so much about myself and the differences between loneliness and solitude. Some of the differences I was able to pinpoint were…

Loneliness: Depleted my energy and made me sad. Loneliness was able to permeate since I based my happiness on another. I was in a state of contraction and longing. Anxiety and depression visited more often. Discontentment fueled sorrow and perpetuated the feeling of isolation.

Solitude: Re-energized me. I found that happiness comes from within. Solitude created space for growth and the state of expansion and contentment. Meditation and prayer became daily routines. I began to find comfort in times of solitude because I started to enjoy my own company.

The more I fostered the beauty of solitude, I found peace where I once felt anxious. Learning to tap into my intuition and wait for answers and inspiration reconnected me to my soul and my spirituality had room to blossom.

Through this lesson, I learned to be compassionate towards my loneliness in order to foster the state of solitude. Without a compassionate approach, I may have become stuck and not have welcomed growth. All things deserve compassion and understanding, including mindsets.

Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self. – Mary Sarton

Embracing Ambiguity: The Beauty of the Unknown

February 24, 2016 by 1 Comment
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Ambiguity is like a fog where you can see the outlines of things, but nothing is really clear. When life is vague and answers are desired more than anything, it can lead to anxiety, restlessness and at times depression. Not knowing the outcome or direction is such a common theme; everyone has felt the anxious grip of ambiguity at least once.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write a book. Writing has been in my life since I was a child. I would write stories, journal and read as many books as I could get my hands on, hoping one day to have one of my own.

When I quit my job in 2014, my goal was to travel the world and write. I wanted to write a book and try to figure out how to get it published in my free time. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I even had a coach put me on a writing schedule. When I felt like the book was complete, I started the process of finding a literary agent.

I created a book proposal with my writing ready to be submitted. I sent letters out to several prospective agents and waited and waited. It was painful to be so vulnerable with something that I had been dreaming about for 25 years. I knew that in order to make it happen, I had to put myself out there.

Then, the rejections started pouring in. The first one made me cry and I was used to them once the fourth one came in. One agent asked for my first 50 pages. “YES! That’s hopeful!” I thought and called my close friends to share and calm my nerves. I sent out the work and waited some more.

Eight weeks later, I received my final rejection. It hurt. I needed to take a break and revisit the book in a few months. I decided to solely focus on my business and let the book wait for its birthday.

In January, I set an intention to let go of my expectation of getting published. I was tired of receiving rejections and noticed that it started affecting my passion for writing. I thought that taking time off would bring clarity. Three weeks later, I received an email that rocked my world — an offer to write a book.

I let go and the universe delivered my dream in a way I would have never expected.

The email was from a publisher who had stumbled upon my website. It was unbelievable the way it all happened but the universe is mysterious, magical and amazing. It all made sense and the day I accepted the offer, I sobbed giant tears with gulps for breath. It was emotional, messy and very joyful.

There was a release that set in when everything came together. Grace kicked in and offered relief to the waiting and wondering. In that moment, gratitude overflowed and a feeling of astonishment enveloped me.

If I would have known this back when I started this process, the gratitude would not have been as great and the relief would not have felt as powerful. The anticipation was part of the joy. The ambiguity set the stage for amazement and wonder. In that moment, I realized the beauty of the unknown.

*stay tuned for more information on this book project later this year

On Becoming

February 10, 2016 by
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“You are becoming” was the final line of a poem a friend wrote for me during a particularly rough time. I had been striving for something, not sure what, but I wasn’t getting where I wanted to be. I felt lost and aimless.

I tried very hard to be successful in the traditional sense. I was managing large volume accounts for my company and customers were happy. I presented budgets and projections with ease. I was good at driving results and creating plans for my market. However, there was a sense of emptiness and I wanted to figure out how to change that.

When asked what I wanted to do, I replied “help people, travel the world and write.” But, I didn’t know what that really meant or how to make that happen.

The struggle to pursue traditional success alongside soulful contentment was becoming stronger the more I resisted it.

What you resist persists

– Carl Jung

When I decided to ease into the process of letting go, the tension that I created for myself began to dissipate. Soon, my goals started to match my soul’s desires. The feeling of ease and contentment surpassed the need to be traditional and understood.

I wasn’t sure how everything was going to pan out, but whatever was happening felt right. This is what becoming must feel like. How can one know what the metamorphosis will deliver? All I knew was that resistance felt more excruciating than surrender.

And then, one day, a man walked into a coffee shop where I was writing. I was feeling upset that my trip around the world was cut short. He sat down next to me and just unloaded a very heavy story. I listened for what seemed like forever, asked a few questions and gave him some insight. He then replied “You should become a life coach.” Words that changed my life.

He got up and left. I sat there perplexed. Was that even a thing? Can one become a life coach? That was the day I started my journey to where I am now. I don’t think I will ever stop becoming something. However, this showed me that sometimes, in the most unexpected ways, messages are delivered.

“Help people, travel the world and write”. I am doing that in my own way. What’s next is unknown, but staying open is key.

What are you resisting that persists? Are you facing blocks or fears that are keeping you from taking the next steps? Let me help you tackle these objections and fears. What are you striving to become?

* email me emily@soulsadventures.com to begin your journey of becoming