Author: Emily

Why Rest Can be More Important than Productivity

December 4, 2019 by 2 Comments
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This year has been exciting and exhausting at the same time. So much has happened and all of a sudden, it feels like the year flew by. We just returned from traveling to Michigan to visit my husband’s family for Thanksgiving and I cannot believe the holiday season has arrived.

It’s been a sporadic year of posting on my blog. I have several posts started but they seem to trail off kinda like my brain has all year long. This year was a whirlwind of activity and travel. With all the travel, excitement and activity, I didn’t really take the time to slow down and rest.

Last month, I sent in the manuscript for my third book. I felt a wave of accomplishment rush over me and then the familiar wave of “what’s next” well up. But, I know better now and stopped that wave from overwhelming me and decided to just be.

I wanted to feel the accomplishment and revel in the excitement of another book becoming. I also wanted to slow down and just be still. I have been learning the beauty of stillness for the past several years and continue to fully embrace the lesson when the need to achieve arises.

Allowing everything to stop is scary. We live in a culture that posts everything from our greatest accomplishments to the food we eat.

What if we just stopped and took the time to be present, sans phone and filters?!

In silence, we are able to hear answers that have been drowned out by to-do lists and busy work. We can feel more connected to our minds, bodies and souls. There is a fullness to silence that a busy schedule can’t achieve.

Stillness has become comforting to me like the wool blanked my sister brought back from Ireland. I can rest knowing that all is well and will continue to be well.

All the energy we put into our work, relationships and ideas will result into something. Even if it’s not what we had exactly planned, something will come of our efforts. We have to give the universe some space to meet us halfway. If we spend all our time striving and pushing, we miss the magic that life has to offer.

I’ve fallen victim to the need to produce, upgrade, move, buy and search so many times. This mindset creates a furnace of anxiety and discontent. Stillness shows us that we are enough, have enough and that the universe is abundant.

When I allow everything to be still, I notice how full life really is.

When we approach life with the mindset of enough, we see that our needs are always met. Slowing down helps us appreciate time more and see that there are enough hours each day. Silence allows for a supple journey inward where we can hear our intuition speak. Stillness allows our bodies the much needed time to relax and restore.

Over the past several years,  I have found that there are several ways to invite stillness into your life. Here are are a few examples:

  • Rest and relaxation
  • Meditation and prayer
  • Sitting in nature
  • Savasana (corpse pose in yoga)
  • Taking a bath
  • Putting work or projects away, even if not completed
  • Alone time

I encourage you to find your favorite way to find stillness this season. Take the time to steal away and make space for your soul to soar and mind to rest. Allow silence to take over as you melt into a new awareness.

Say no to things that drain you. Let boundaries stay where they need to be. Welcome the winter season for what it was meant for: hibernation and rest. Spring will soon arrive.

May your season be beautiful and slower. May you rest well and appreciate your own company more.

3 Important Things to Consider When Starting a Business

November 19, 2019 by 0 Comments
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Starting a business is equal parts amazing and terrifying. I remember the first time I posted about my business on social media, I was so worried what my friends and family would think of me. I mean, I went from being a wine gal to a spiritual life coach…a not-so-obvious transition.

Sure, there were a few who scratched their heads wondering when I would come to my senses, but overall, people were supportive. “It’s about time you work for yourself!” and “I always thought you should own a business!” were two very common responses I received.

It’s amazing how others can have more faith in us than we do in ourselves!

I guess there were several signs pointing to entrepreneurship that I ignored along the way, yet people close to me knew it was inevitable. I’ve always been super creative, hard-working and usually had issues with my bosses. Not in the personality type issues (although that’s happened), more like the thoughts that started with “If I was in charge…I’d change/fix/implement this”

For those of you who are Enneagram enthusiasts, I am a Type 1, The Reformer, I see issues and solutions EVERYWHERE I GO! So, its natural for me to want to take over and fix things. When I decided that I was going to become a life coach, I jumped in with fervor, getting certified immediately, reading and learning all I could about starting a business and spending hours on my website because I wanted to understand how it worked.

There were several times where my certainty waned and I wondered if this business would ever be successful. It’s really hard to go from getting paid on a regular schedule to not knowing when a sale would be made. There were so many things that I launched that tanked. But I learned the strength of resilience through the process.

It’s been 5 years since I started my coaching business and I am so happy I did and stuck through the tough periods. I am so grateful for the jobs I picked up along the way to help me fund my next level of growth and keep my lights on. I am grateful that I never gave up on my dream, even when it would have been so easy to walk away.

I harness my bravery every day so I can inspire others to do the same. Bravery reaches past fear and pulls us to the other side where a new level of joy and a sense of pride reside. Getting through slow seasons, learning curves, failures and uncertainty can either make you courageous or resentful.

Choosing courage over resentment takes a lot of faith in yourself!

If you are wanting to start a business or are in the first years of your business endeavor, I want to encourage you to keep going and seek help, when you need it. You don’t have to do it alone. Find a community of other entrepreneurs in your area and co-work, even if you are in different industries, the communal feeling will help you feel like you’re on a team of world-changers.

I have so many women ask me how to start a business. Most of them want to become coaches. This thrills me because we need more women who want to start their own business, share their voice and inspire in their own way.

You were born with a gift to deliver to the world; we need you!

If you are thinking about leaving your job to create a business, here are 3 things to consider:

  • What problem or issue do you want to help solve? All businesses have a reason people need them. Figure out how you want to help.
  • Finances: come up with your “freedom number”, the amount of money you need to bring in or have in savings to maintain the lifestyle you desire. Once you know this number, you can work on the next step…
  • Timeline: Be realistic. Overnight success is an anomaly. Give yourself a timeline of when you want to quit your job / start your business / receive training / market to your audience, etc…

When you can realistically answers these questions, you will have a better concept on moving forward with your brilliant idea. Taking things step by step will help you move forward quicker than trying to do it all at once. I’ve watched several people approach it that way and give up before they hit year 2.

Consider these 3 things and then you can lay the foundation. In business, slow and steady is key. Remember, that even people who have been in business for decades are still learning because the economy, platforms and technology continue to evolve.

The road to freedom is full of lessons that never end.

Embrace this time of figuring it all out. You are creating and expanding. Soon, you will offer something amazing to the world and it will feel amazing, scary and exciting all at once because you made it happen and took the time to trust yourself and have faith in your dreams!

How to Balance Movement and Rest

June 20, 2019 by 0 Comments
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We are currently doing our digital nomad experiment and for the past 5 weeks, we have traveled through Spain, visiting some amazing cities and doing as much as we could for the limited time we were in each location. It was exciting, fun, adventurous and exhausting.

Spain is vibrant; pulsating with life. It feels like everyone is awake until the wee hours of the morning. The zest for life was intoxicating and we found ourselves out and about much later than we would have been back home. I loved the schedule we kept in Spain. Every day we explored and if we had to work, we snuck in some exploration before and after our calls.

We soaked up every minute possible in Spain. And with so many different cities to see, we made sure we saw all that we could. But going at that pace for an extended period, living in and out of a suitcase and dealing with trains, cabs, planes and buses takes its toll. My adventurous side started to feel bruised and battered after so much movement and lack of sleep.

When we made this plan, we knew that we would need to choose a place to stay for an extended period of time after the whirlwind of Spain. We chose Florence, Italy and found a small cottage with a big garden as a place to rest, relax and restore our energy.

Florence is a beautiful city, rich in history and not that big. We are taking our time to see the sights, taste the flavors and experience the beauty of the Italian way of life. Our cottage is up a hill just outside the old city walls, so we are close enough to explore on foot, yet far enough for peace and quiet.

I love it here, especially our little home away from home. The garden is my favorite place. There are so many trees and aromatic plants. No matter where you are in our neighborhood, you can smell jasmine. In our garden, sage, rosemary and lavender grow abundantly. Just sitting out there is like having an aromatherapy session in a spa. All the green and scents have truly been healing.

I don’t think we could have chose a better place to restore our energy. Even the internet is spotty here which would usually be an issue, but causes us to slow down even more. I feel like I’m in my own version of Under the Tuscan Sun just ambling through my days, writing, loving and soaking up the abundant sunshine.

This adventure has opened my eyes to the meaning of feeling alive while active and at rest. When we were in Spain, everything felt alive. Even if I was asleep, I knew that life was being lived to its fullest. In Florence, I feel alive because I am taking the time to restore and for self care. Just being in the sun awakens my spirit.

Gratitude for this journey floods me.

I am grateful to have this experience and a partner who dreams big alongside me. I am grateful that the world is such a beautiful place with so many amazing places to see. I am grateful for all the sunshine, all the trees and all the people we’ve encountered. I am grateful that I have learned how to feel alive while moving and in stillness. I am grateful for my adventurous spirit and for my strong body that has sustained me through this journey. I am grateful for dreams come true…because they really do come true!

Bravery in the Arena

June 11, 2019 by 1 Comment
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“It’s hard to understand.” She said as she touched me arm. “He was a brave bull.” I had just witnessed the end of a bullfight. My eyes welled up with tears as I gasped and grabbed my husband’s knee. The woman beside me, Marcella, had been explaining the entire ritual to me, taking me deeper into understanding something that I was very scared to look at.

Bullfighting is a brutal sport and deeply tied to Spanish tradition. I was afraid to go, yet intrigued by something held so reverently by a culture I love. I didn’t want to judge something I didn’t understand nor had ever experienced.

I am re-reading The Sun Also Rises on this trip to try to get a better feel for the sport and Spain. Plus, Ernest Hemingway is one of my favorite authors. Hemingway was brought up in conversation with the couple we sat next to, the man was a writer, covering the experience of bullfights. We found our common ground, two writers who loved Hemingway, yet we wrote about very different topics.

As the procession began, all the key players of the fight: matadors, banderilleros and picadors, came out into the arena. They held their heads high with pride as they made their way to the President’s box to tip their hats before the fighting began. The matadors were dressed in beautiful suits, traje de luces, that sparkled in the arena lights. They were the most proud, for they were the true opponent of the bull.

A brass band, up in the stands, played as everyone took their places around the arena. Bright magenta and gold capotes were being flung about by the banderilleros, practicing before the bull came charging in. As the horses left the arena, everything became hushed as all eyes turned towards the open gate, waiting for the bull to enter.

Charging through the gate, a young bull appeared. He moved towards the the banderilleros and matador as they attempted to tire him out. It was a beautiful dance with the brightly colored capotes swishing back and forth next to the ornate costumes and the muscular body of the bull.

“They must keep their body straight so the bull only sees the capote.” Marcella explained as I watched the dance. She was sure to explain every element to me as I must have had a bewildered look on my face.

The trumpets sounded once more and the picadors entered the arena. “The horses are wrapped in padding so the bull does not hurt them and the man is wearing a metal boot.” She pointed out as I thought I was hearing a cowbell. They took their positions on opposite sides of the arena and the capotes were used to lure the bull closer to the picador. You could hear him calling out to the bull. “Toro! Toro!”

And then in a swift motion, the bull charged and a spear was placed deep into his shoulder. I shuddered. The bull was angry and charged the horse, causing it to fall over. I gasped and grabbed for Nate’s arm. He looked surprised and we just stared at each other. Marcella leaned in “The horse is alright, he is protected with two linings. “

Somehow, that made me feel better yet, I wondered if the horse really was alright. After they got the horse back up, the trumpet sounded again and the picadors left the arena.

The next act, act 2/3, was very dramatic. Each banderilleros have two darts in their hands and they taunt the bull towards them, standing on tip-toes, arms outstretched until the bull runs towards them as they jump up, placing the darts in the bulls back, then running for cover as the matador distracts with his capote. This happens three times for a total of six darts.

Marcella pointed out when the bull and matador were being brave. There were a few times she said “He is scared of the bull, you can see his bravery isn’t strong. He’s too far away from the bull and the bull will know he is in charge now.”

The entire ritual was a display of bravery and the arena was the stage.

Then, the final act happens where the bull and matador face off. “The bull is the most important part of the fight. This is a good bull. He is brave so the matador must also be brave. We are watching two warrior spirits. This is very special.” Marcella explained as I watched the matador move around with his red cape, muleta.

He got closer and closer to the bull until they were inches apart. It was beautiful. The graceful movement of the matador with his muleta and the powerful energy of the bull charging as close as possible, never missing the cape.

They were in sync and I couldn’t look away.

“This is the act of death. The matador must end the suffering of the bull to set his soul free.” Marcella leaned in once more touching my arm. I was afraid to see it, but I didn’t look away. The dance went on for about 10 minutes and it was beautiful. The bull charged, the matador moved only his muleta and spine, keeping his feet firmly planted. Every part was graceful and colorful.

I could see their warrior spirits facing off.

Then, the part I feared most happened and a sword was shoved in between the shoulder blades of the bull as he charged one last time. The bull dropped, my eyes filled with tears. “We must be silent to allow the bull’s spirit to pass” she whispered.

Then in a moment of silence, we all watched the bull take its last breath before a team came out to drag his body out of the arena.

This happened six times. Each time, I got upset when the death occurred, yet the entire show was intriguing and beautiful.

Marcella was right, it is hard to understand. I am not from Spain and this is not my tradition. I am grateful for her presence during this experience. I feel like she was a spirit guide, delivered to the seat next to me to guide me through this difficult experience.

Cultural differences can be a hot button issue, especially when they involve the rights of a living being. I learned that although, I feel bullfighting to be brutal, I can appreciate why many feel it to be an amazing sport. I can see why Hemingway was obsessed. It really does grab your attention and tug at your emotions. There are emotional highs and lows during the whole fight. Cortisol levels are heightened. I can see how it can be attractive and addicting to watch.

The part I can most appreciate is the reverence for the soul and naming the true spirit of a being. The bull’s spirit is brave. The matador’s spirit is also brave. They are the one’s in the arena, facing their fears. I may not agree with how it is displayed but, there is an important element to recognizing the spirit of all living things.

I am glad we went to the bullfight. I am not sure if I will ever go again and I am so grateful for Marcella’s presence, leading me through understanding a part of her culture in such a patient and kind way. Spain is intoxicating and I’ll never forget the night I watched bravery displayed in an arena.

Finding a Sense of Home While Traveling Abroad

June 5, 2019 by 0 Comments
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Today was a difficult day. I wanted to go home and find my comfortable place of solace where I can recharge my introvert soul in order to continue this journey out in the world. We have been on the road for 25 days and this is our 5th city. There have been a lot of people, noises, sights and experiences.

Overall it has been amazing and perfect. We are in Spain, one of my favorite places. However, I am an introvert. Like a, I need alone time for a long time, introvert. And well, that’s just not happening on this trip.We both work from home and every week we are in a new place, in a new apartment, some smaller than others and it’s hard to get the space I crave.

Today, my body told me to stop. We were on a run. I told him to go ahead because my body was telling me it was done. He ran off and I tried to keep my pace with my goal of 2 miles in mind. I hit my goal and stopped and waited for him to make his way back.

When he returned, I started to cry. I told him I needed space and alone time. I told him I craved the comfort of home. We made a plan for me to get the space I needed today, because we are here and not home and there is only so much we can do.

Spain is very lively. Even if you are alone, life is going on around you. I am surrounded by noise. I can hear people chatting, forks clicking on plates, cars passing, children playing, footsteps even. Even if I am totally alone, I am not.

I am reminded that through pain growth occurs. Something is happening. I don’t know what it is yet, but I think it has to do with a sense of home. I keep craving home. A place to call home. My own space. I’ve never felt this strongly about “home” before.

Tonight, Nate went on a walk. I stayed back to get some alone time and creating in. The windows are open, there is a warm breeze coming in and down the street, a group of people are singing. It’s perfection. There is the constant buzz of the city accompanying their voices. Every once in a while, a bell rings from the kitchen in the restaurant next door. Spain is a symphony and I am learning to find peace in the noise.

I am learning that home is within, with my person and I can take that everywhere. Do I still want my space and the comfort of home? Yes! I believe this journey is creating a deeper sense of appreciation for when that happens. One day, I’ll be sitting in the space I’ve created with all its comforts and remember this very special time when I traveled with my husband, learned a new level of comfort and was serenaded by the city of Seville.

How to Create an Abundance Mindset

May 1, 2019 by 0 Comments
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Have you ever felt like there just isn’t enough? Not enough money to pay the bills, food to feed the family, time to complete the day’s tasks, opportunities available or people to connect with? Feeling like there isn’t enough can leave us in a state of scarcity and discontent. When scarcity takes over, it is hard to look on the bright side and see the good that does exist.

Discontentment stems from scarcity and scarcity is rooted in fear.

Fear can creep in the moment something goes wrong, triggering a response that focuses on what’s going wrong and from there, scarcity is all we can focus on. This is a very hard place to move on from. Its an anxious feeling that if left unchecked, can take over our thoughts, not allowing us to move forward.

If you’ve ever had a time when there wasn’t enough, you know that scace thoughts are powerful. When these thoughts start to take over, stop and ask yourself: “Is this really true?” and “What is the truth in this situation?”

For instance, “I don’t have enough money for that.” can be changed to “I need to save money to pay for that” or “I will change some of my spending to afford that.” Because the truth is there is enough money out there and if something is important enough to you, you can save or change some spending or even find different work or a side-gig. We are not here with a set amount of funds that once they run out, its done.

An abundance mindset reframes scarce thoughts to enough and eventually into plenty.

Money comes and goes, but there is a lot circulating and plenty for everyone. People come and go from our lives but the ones who matter stick around. Opportunities can seem few and far between, but they are endless.

Abundance is all around us and available to everyone. There is a shift that happens when we stop focusing on what’s not working to what is working. Let’s take time for example: Every person on this planet has exactly 24 hours in their day. EVERY PERSON!!! That means that we can choose to see 24 hours as either enough or not enough.

Just shifting your thought to enough begins the work of an abundance mindset. Of course there will be days where you won’t get everything done on your to-do list. But 24 hours is enough and the same amount as everyone else. Next time you are writing your to-do list, ask yourself “What is the most important thing for me to get done today?” and then work on that. Even if it means 10 things go untouched, you get to choose what is the most important thing. When that one thing is done, ask yourself that question again.

Creating an abundance mindset takes practice, especially if scarcity is a go-to thought pattern. There are simple things we can do that with enough practice and repetition, we can create a mindset geared towards abundance.

When we begin to think abundantly, our energy changes and attracts more goodness into our lives.

Here are 5 tips to help you create an abundance mindset:

  1. Reframe scarce thoughts: Stop the thought and ask yourself “Is this true? What is the truth?” Then, reframe the scarce thought into an empowering one. Our minds are super powerful and create our reality
  2. Heal your money wounds: How do you feel and think about money? Why do you think and feel that way? Is there something that happened or conditioned you to think scarcely? When we dive into why we believe certain things about money, we can begin to forgive and heal thought patterns that no longer serve us.
  3. Write out you money goals and be specific. Do you need an extra $100? Write it down. Do you dream of being a millionaire? Write it down. In fact, get detailed about it. A mind that is calibrated to achieve goals starts looking for ways to make it happen. And the best part, the universe hears our deepest desires and delivers once we are crystal clear on what and why we want something.
  4. Visualize the outcome: See yourself living, thinking and giving abundantly. Feel the stress melt away. Breathe in the calm and security your abundance brings.
  5. Offer gratitude every day: Gratitude is so powerful. Are you grateful for the things you already have in your life? The practice of gratitude creates a ripple effect and soon, you will notice even the smallest things are something to be grateful. There is always something to be grateful for, so make sure to make this a daily habit!

Try these steps for the next month and see how you feel. Changing your mindset will change your reality. What you focus on grows. Therefore, if you focus on being abundant in time, money, opportunities, love, joy, peace…you will begin to see these areas flourishing in your life.

*If you would like help to implement these practices into your daily life and want to create an abundance mindset, sign up for a free 15 minute coaching consultation.

April’s Full Moon

April 19, 2019 by 0 Comments
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Full Pink Moon

The ritual of spring cleaning is a time when we go through what has accumulated over the winter months and decide what to throw away and what to keep. There is an intention to do a full clearing of clutter to clear any stale energy from our homes.

The things that haven’t been used in a while are noticed and we have the choice on whether it’s time to let them go. This can be a difficult process for some things because they hold sentimental value.

Attachment can cause a great struggle in letting go.

One idea that has always helped me when decluttering is: If you haven’t needed it in a year, chances are you will not need it now. It is liberating to let go of things, especially those with stale or bad energy. Energy shifts when old or unused items are removed. We make room for newness to enter our lives.

Some years are easier to clear clutter than others. Others can be a struggle to find the time to do a deep cleaning. This is a time to recognize any blocks that may arise when it comes to clearing clutter. Allow yourself to take some time to reflect on what the block may be.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

  • Do I really like where everything is in my home right now?
  • Am I afraid of what may happen if I get rid of something? If so, what am I afraid of?
  • Do I welcome change?
  • Am I trying to manifest things too quickly and getting impatient with the process?
  • What am I attached/holding on to?

If you find yourself wavering on the thin line of attachment remember that growth comes after the release. It is easy to fall into attachment when hard work bears fruit. But, there is always room for growth!

If you are craving growth and feel slight discomfort from waiting or haven’t seen change in a while, harness the powerful energy of the full moon to notice if any of these areas are highlighted.

The full moon is a time when what needs to be let go of is highlighted and draws our attention to it so we can release it.

Start by making a list of where you would like to see growth in your life. Then break your list down into categories and list how you would like to grow in each area

  • Relationship
  • Career
  • Health
  • Education/Growth
  • Community
  • Family

Then, next to each item, list an action you can take to create the change you desire. Notice where you need to let go and clear clutter in each area. This can be a physical object or an emotion.

Clutter is energetic and has a low vibrational energy.

The things that are no longer serving you hold energy where growth is ready to bloom. Clearing out clutter brings new and lovely things. This takes practice, so be gentle with yourself. Letting go is hard. Even though you may not know what is on the horizon, trust that universe hears your deepest desires. Making your list is manifestation in action.

Pink Moon Meditation:

I am ready to let go of what no longer serves me.

I release my grasp on the things I have been holding onto.

I am ready for growth.

I notice the beauty that is taking place.

Preparing for Growth

March 20, 2019 by 0 Comments
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How do we prepare ourselves for growth?

The first day of Spring always reminds me of new beginnings and thinking about what needs to be released in order to welcome what is about to grow. I like to think of it as a spiritual spring cleaning. As much as it feels great to get our physical spaces in order, we need to take care of our souls as well. If we aren’t tending to the garden of our soul, it will manifest outwardly.

Every Spring Equinox, I ask myself: “What seeds do I need to plant in order to harvest what I want?” and “What do I need to release in order for growth to occur?”

This equinox is extra powerful as it coincides with the full moon as well. This full moon is called the Worm Moon, named after the time of year when the ground begins to thaw and worms move through the earth, aerating the soil preparing it for planting. Just as this picture portrays the preparation for growth, we too can move through our layers to find what potentially can get in the way of our growth.

To begin, look ahead six months and think about where you want to be in your life and work backwards from there. This is an incredible space of possibility and expansion. Anything is possible if you are willing to put the work in. If you take the time to plan for a bountiful harvest, you are more likely to achieve your goals.

Of course there are things that will come up and best laid plans may go off course, but I have learned that starting a season with a clear intention helps me stay focused and even makes going with the flow of life easier because I am clear on what I want yet able to recalibrate when needed. When we flow through life, it is easier to allow things to happen as they may because the need for control dissipates.

When a season of change happens, the need to control can feel attractive. Since change brings uncertainty, it is easy to assert our will into situations that just need time to evolve. If we crave control and continue to insert our will, then the process doesn’t have the room it needs to grow as it should.

Change isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage to commit to do something out of the ordinary, to step outside of your comfort zone and create something new. Growth takes time and can be painful. I remember my knees aching as a child right before I grew a bit taller. The pain was temporary, yet my body let me know that I was changing. There was nothing I could do about these growing pains, they occured, I grew and I was fine.

Preparing for growth takes a lot of intention and a lot of letting go.

So, as you enter this season of planting seeds and the preparing for the growth that will occur, remember your intentions and why you wanted to make these changes. When pain occurs, remind yourself that they are just growing pains. And when it’s time to let go of things that are keeping you from going where you want to go, send them off with gratitude for they part they had in your life and release them.

There is beauty in letting go. The weight of carrying something that is no longer needed only drags us down. When we release, we feel lighter and our souls have the room needed to transform and blossom.

Thoughts from the First Year of Marriage

March 10, 2019 by 0 Comments
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We celebrate our first anniversary today. This year seemed to fly by, I can’t believe a year has passed since our wedding day. I learned so much, we grew closer together and learned that love can continue to grow deeper than imaginable. I love him more today than a year ago and I am so happy that we chose each other. Marriage has been wonderful, secure, loving and also hard work.

The past year has been a growth period full of new levels of empathy and love. There was armor that I didn’t realize I was still wearing being removed, piece by piece in the safety net of love. I have found a person who feels like home. We learned how to listen deeper, communicate better and forgive quicker.

Marriage takes work and if anything, learning how to communicate effectively was the most important lesson for me. Sometimes it feels brutal but always, in the end, we come together with a greater understanding of each other. I’m grateful that we can give each other the space to fully be whoever we are and speak from the heart. We created a safe place to unveil our thoughts and be ourselves. There is great comfort in feeling seen and loved for exactly who I am.

He sees me. He accepts me. Every day, I am reminded that I am enough.

I love the routine of marriage. I love the steadiness of his presence, every day, with his routine and joyful spirit. I love that I can be my normal self: quiet, introspective and emotional with bouts of silliness. We balance each other. He reminds me to lighten up. I remind him to slow down.

We both work from home in our small, one bedroom apartment and in the past year, we have learned each other’s non verbal cues and how to give space when there isn’t much space to physically give and when to listen when words just seem to flow.

Communication is what it’s all about because we are saying so much beyond our words.

As we learn to communicate better, we keep in mind a promise we made to ourselves and each other: to strive to become the best versions of ourselves. Knowing this, we have been able to have the hard conversations and are learning to bring compassion and empathy to the gray areas and parts of ourselves that we are learning to embrace.

That’s the thing, there is a beauty in the acceptance that I find. Even when our initial reaction is to judge because we don’t understand, we try our best to find a new level of understanding. I’m honestly blown away by this past year and can’t imagine what year two will hold.

One of the pieces of advice that was repeated over and over was. “Continue to date each other.” I am so grateful we received this advice because even though the routine feels good, safe, secure and predictable, we still do our best to go on dates. There have been weeks when I didn’t want to go on a date, but every time, I feel myself softening and releasing whatever reasoning I had to stay home.

I am learning that marriage is where the two of us are on an adventure together, learning how to communicate and become a part of a team. My brother was the officiant at our wedding and he emphasized the importance of teamwork in marriage. It’s true. There are days when I am so overwhelmed and he is able to take care of things and then I can do the same for him. On our best days we make a great team working seamlessly side by side towards our goals.

I guess for me, the first year of marriage meant softening, communicating and compromising. I feel stronger as a partner and am proud of us for facing the lessons head on, together and growing through them instead of shutting down.

Did I think marriage would take so much work? Not really. But I also didn’t know that marriage would expand my perception and heart as much as it has. I can’t imagine what I’ll be feeling or saying a year from now, but if we keep this up, I feel like my world will just keep getting richer as I continue to reach new levels of understanding with him.

3 Mistakes to Avoid Before Quitting Your Job

February 28, 2019 by 0 Comments
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You’re at your wits end and ready to throw in the towel. Working there was not what you thought you’d be doing with your life and yet, you just spent the past few or several years there. You’re frustrated with the job, your boss, the lack of opportunity and with yourself for staying there so long.

Quitting your job seems like a really good idea. You think about the freedom of not having to go to that same office every day and work with the same people, some of whom you have grown to like, others you can’t handle for one more minute.

Then, you start to panic and realize that this job is your sense of security and if you leave, you will be broke and scared that you will be unable to find more work. Fear continues to grow and as you weigh your options, the freedom that you crave seems less attractive than the security you have, even though you are miserable.

Change is hard and scary stuff. The fear or effort it takes to make a change like this is real. I’ve gone through it twice and many of my clients experience the same fears and doubts. After helping so many people with career changes, I have noticed that there are 3 things that consistently get in the way of a successful career change…

  1. Quitting prematurely, without a plan
  2. Lacking clarity on what they want
  3. Needing a job immediately, creating financial stress

When we feel dissatisfaction in our job, we have the choice to do what we can to make things right. However, if we get to a place where quitting is inevitable, we need to start planning an exit. I repeat: DON’T QUIT WITHOUT A PLAN!

A career change can take 3 -9 months, depending on your market, industry and time of year. If you know you want to quit, you will need to map out your exit strategy by getting your resume and LinkedIn profile updated, network with people, search for work and most importantly, get clear on where you want to go.

Clarity is the first thing my clients and I work on because you can’t change careers without knowing where you want to go. By getting clear on your intended direction, you present yourself better when interviewing and networking. When someone knows what they want, they are more confident when they speak and the way they carry themselves.

Finally, one of the biggest obstacles I see is when a potential client wants to get coaching on how to switch careers, but needs a job immediately. This is not a good place to be. If you are financially strained and desperate for work, it will translate in your interviews and networking.

I understand that not everyone has a savings account with enough to hold them over for a few months, but I encourage starting one. Sit down and figure how much money you actually need; this includes all your expenses and enough to comfortably live at your current lifestyle. This is your freedom number. Once you figure this out, you can then decide when you can quit, how much you will need in savings and/or what type of job you will supplement with.

I never advise a person quit their job without having a way to pay for life. This could mean a savings account, a side hustle or staying at their current job long enough to find their next career.

When these 3 mistakes are avoided, career changes can be exciting and hopeful. It’s not worth it to enter your next career full of stress. This energy will be translated to your work and it will only be a matter of time when you may end up feeling the same urge to quit.

My goal with clients is to help them find fulfillment and not just another job. We deserve to be happy at work and feel like we are contributing the way we are meant to. I can’t stress this enough: Clarity is the most important when it comes to making a change. Getting clear helps with direction, fulfillment and purpose.

Career changes are meant to be rewarding and exciting. When we take the time to create change in our lives, it is important to plan, get clear and make sure we are taken care of. Even when things seems impossible, take a step back, breathe and do one thing that will get you closer to your desired outcome. In time, you will create the fulfillment you desire.

*For more information on Career Coaching Packages or to book a free 15 minute consultation.