How do you decide when to move on?

When things fall apart, it can be hard to find the initiative to get back up to find the space to start or create something new. Days can seem to drag on and putting one foot in front of the other can seem like a huge feat. Sometimes, it feels like you are stuck and doomed to live in a cycle of disappointment.

Figuring out action steps can help bring your mind out of the fog but make sure to give yourself the time to process the disappointment. If it is time to move on, it’s okay to mourn the loss. Allow the healing to occur and take an active role by looking forward to creating something new when the time is right.

Some important questions to ask when there is something that may feel like it is falling apart are:

1. What isn’t working?
2. Is there something I can change to make it work?
3. If I let go and move on from this, what are my next actions?
4. What do I want to be working towards?

Be honest with yourself and take time to write out the answers. After you answer the questions, look to see if anything sticks out. Are there common themes, new revelations or is the answer clear and the writing exercise solidified your intuition? Sit with the answers, meditate on the next steps and recognize any closure that needs to take place.

Perhaps the most important thing to note is the last question. If where you are now does not help you get to where you want to be, then the answer is clear. Getting clear on what you want to do can ease the pain of ending something that is not meant to be.

When things end, it is important to get back up, even if it takes some time. Making daily efforts to try again seems difficult at first, but after a while the practice of doing creates the momentum needed to move forward. In order to allow growth to take place, movement is necessary.

When life gives us a “no” it creates space for expansion. This is a place for possibility and dreaming. The opposite of expansion is contracting. If contracting is happening, it holds on to pain and disappointment. Stagnation can occur and often times, resentment. Imagine a fist releasing its grasp. Notice how the hand expands as it lets go of its tight hold.

Release and expand; this is the action most beneficial for moving on.

Let what needs to fall down, fall. Don’t act like Sisyphus, continually pushing his boulder up the mountain just to push against gravity once more; this was his curse. Whatever is falling apart, does not need to be a curse. Look to see the blessing in disguise. There is something waiting for this to end in order to have the space it needs to enter your life.

Let go and receive whatever may come with open arms, mind and heart. Replace resistance with cooperation. Momentum can aid in cooperation and soon moving forward will feel exciting and new beginnings will emerge. All you have to do is be honest with yourself, find clarity and start moving forward, one step at a time. In time, the space will be filled with something new.