mindfulness

Choosing Joy

August 1, 2018 by 0 Comments
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Every month, I choose a theme to set the tone for how I want my month to go. I starting this practice four years ago and it amazes me what transpires around each themes. What I intend to feel and focus on always presents a lesson to learn. I find that at the end of the month, I have created momentum to welcome the attribute into my life.

Basically, the universe delivers circumstances where I can exercise whichever muscle I say I want to strengthen. For instance, the month I chose patience was trying, but I did become more patient because the opportunities and intention were there and I met them with the willingness to grow. The month I chose stillness was the slowest month socially, but with plenty of time to learn to be still.

The universe meets us where we are at and provides the tools and lessons needed to activate our desired outcomes.

This month, I am choosing joy. I wanted to choose a theme where I knew I could gain more strength and be celebratory because August is my birthday month and I love birthdays! My intention is to welcome more joy into my life and choose joy when I feel negativity creep in. I want to calibrate my brain towards joy and rewire the pathways that default to lower vibrations like anger, sadness, judgement, jealousy and anxiety.

Choosing joy does not mean that happiness is a constant state. It means, when joy is the hardest to feel, I want to work on choosing it and strengthen my emotional resilience.

Going through hard things makes joy even greater.

When I visualized what this would look like, it thought about those moments when I feel my face scrunch up because a smile just isn’t enough to express how happy I feel. I call these heart smiles and have been known to use the expression “you/it made my heart smile” because I feel the joy so deeply. People, experiences, nature and certain memories are things that bring so much joy, my heart bursts with happiness. The great thing is that feeling is available to me at all times.

For instance, I waited a long time to get married, I have the heart scars to show it. There were so many sad endings and at points, I didn’t know if it would happen for me. Then, I got very specific and intentional to attract the relationship I desired. When I met my husband, I knew it was him. It was the most sure I had ever been in my life. I told my close friend that I met the man I was going to marry after our first date. Sure, it sounds strange, but I knew it.

Fast forward to our wedding day, I could not get down the aisle fast enough to marry him. He was standing at the end of the aisle beaming, my eyes were fixed on him. My heart was smiling and instead of crying tears of joy, I had perma-grin, my heart found joy. Even as I type this, I can feel that emotion of seeing him as I walked down the aisle well up inside my heart. It is a beautiful feeling: joyful, exciting and deep.

Joy lives deep within us and is ready to be recalled at a moments notice.

So what can one do when they feel negativity creeping in? Try this practice to help retrain the brain to find joy:

  • Identify one of the most joyful moments in your life; one where you felt like your heart would burst with happiness.
  • Now, REALLY feel it. Feel it in your heart, your mind, your skin, your gut…
  • Sit with that feeling.
  • Breathe in the positive vibes that memory provides.
  • Notice the energy shift that occured because you just took a moment to choose joy.

Remember: this feeling is available to you at any time. You can access it whenever you feel a lower emotional state. Just take a moment to practice this exercise at those times and the feelings of joy can arrive. The more we stop negative emotions from taking over and choose joy, they less frequently our brain will want to default to negativity. This practice raises your vibration and since like energy attracts like energy, higher vibrations will arrive.

What will you choose to focus on this month?

How to Begin a Meditation Practice

July 23, 2018 by 0 Comments
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“How do I start meditating” is a question I am frequently asked. “I can’t get my mind to stop thinking!” is usually the reason for the question.

Meditation does not mean the absence of thought. To meditate is to become quiet and fully present. This means that thoughts and emotions will still arise. The key is to notice them and then let them go. The attachment to the thought and emotion is what keeps us from being present. If the thought truly needs attention, it will be there when you are done meditating. Usually, taking the time to calm the mind, allows for nervous thoughts to dissipate and be released.

Mindfulness is a practice that has changed my life. I went from being anxious, craving control to learning how to release the tension and find time to sit still, away from distraction so everything could slow down.

Stillness is a beautiful act of self care.

Imagine if each of us took 10 minutes each day to slow down, release tension and find a place of peace and presence. Not only would there be more calm, but the actual energy of the planet would elevate.

Each of us operate at differing vibrational frequencies. When we choose to be calm, loving, compassionate, joyful, we are operating at a high vibration. The opposite is true when we choose to anger, sorrow, frustration and jealousy. Simply put, we literally feel down when our vibration is low.

It is normal to have both high and low vibrations in a day. However, the choice to raise your vibration is powerful and meditation can help. This is a practice that can be done anywhere and at any time. You can begin your day with it, use it when a stressful situation occurs, when you just want a moment of stillness or even to prepare for bed.

Try to meditate every day for a week straight and see if you notice a difference.

Here is a simple way to begin:

  • Find a quiet place to sit. This can be in your office at your desk, in the morning while laying in bed, in your car before you go into the grocery store even!
  • Close your eyes OR keep them open.
  • Learn to notice your breath by counting to 10. Inhale -1, Exhale -2, Inhale -3, Exhale -4…
  • Repeat this 3 – 5 times until you feel calm. (You may need to do it more than 3 times, depending on the day, but 3 is a good start.)
  • Smile, you just meditated!!

How do you feel? Notice any changes that took place. Realize that this tool is available to you wherever you are whenever you need it. All you need to do is count your breath. Counting also keeps your mind focused on the task at hand and not on the to-do list that is always faithfully waiting to enter your thoughts!

Remember: if a thought arises, notice it and let it go. 

Try using this practice every day for a month and see what happens to your mood and the way you react to things.Start a meditation journal to chronicle your journey if you’d like. This is your practice and you need to make it your own.

Eventually, stillness is a welcome occurrence and you will seek it out. In this space, intuition speaks and answers arrive.You may even notice being more present during conversations and more aware of yourself and the needs of others. Your vibration will be rising each time you meditate and you will attract like frequencies into your life.

If you want to take your practice even further, you can try guided meditations or even sitting without counting for 5 or 10 minutes. This is a practice and the goal is not perfection. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you begin. Each time you choose stillness, you are creating space for intuition to grow and calm to take place.

Full Corn Moon

September 6, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Lately, there has been some tension in the air. Perhaps it was the eclipse or maybe because Mercury was in retrograde. Whatever it was, I have talked to several people who have been feeling like change is needed. Even people who have just embarked on a new venture, find themselves yearning for something different.

This past week, I also felt a constant itch for change. I searched for flights to anywhere, looked at maps and felt like I was the only person who was staying put. It grew and grew until I woke up one morning completely discontented and upset. I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way, I just knew it felt very real and was bringing me down.

Tonight is the Full Corn Moon. As with every full moon, the things we need to let go of are highlighted and are brought to the surface. This discontent is clearly being highlighted.

This full moon was named to celebrate the harvest of corn; a staple in the Native American diet and way of life. It was not just a source of food, but also used for making furniture, baskets and toys. This one crop created sustenance and became revered for centuries.

I have been reflecting on sustenance as I prepared to write this post. Sustenance is a source of nourishment, strength; something that maintains life. There are many things that are thought of as necessary to maintain a modern lifestyle, but I wanted to notice where my sustenance comes from.

So I asked myself, “Where does my sustenance come from? What do I need to maintain my life and strength?” I broke it down to mind-body-soul because I think all three need to be cared for. I honestly asked myself what was necessary to feel sustained. This is what I came up with…

Mind:

  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Meditation
  • Meaningful Conversations

Body:

  • Running
  • Healthy Food
  • Walking
  • Hugs

Soul:

  • Prayer
  • Quiet Time
  • Creating
  • Travel

I looked at my list and noticed that I already had everything I needed. This changed my perspective on the desire for change. Instead of needing change, I realized that contentment was the true need. Although I will always welcome change, it was necessary to reframe the story I had created around my current situation.

When I consciously pay attention to contentment, my focus moves from want to gratitude.

The beautiful thing is that the more gratitude you give, the more things there are to be grateful for. The universe hears our deepest desires and want to provide everything we dream of. But, we have to notice what needs are being met, where the gifts are coming from and be grateful first and foremost.

As the full moon shines its light on the areas that need refocusing, pay attention to where your sustenance comes from. Make a list and see where these things are already being provided. Then, offer heartfelt thanks for everything that is and will be. The Corn Moon teaches us that sometimes only one crop can meet so many of our needs and that its source should be recognized and revered.

May your month be filled with sustenance, gratitude and contentment.

Full Strawberry Moon

June 9, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Tonight’s Full moon was named for the time of year when strawberries are ripening; ready for picking. It is an opportunity to reflect on what has evolved in our lives and honor the work that got us there.

A few years ago, I worked in the wine industry and part of my territory was in California’s Santa Maria Valley. I loved this time of year because I could drive through the vast strawberry fields. They seemed to go forever ala The Beatles “Strawberry Fields Forever” which I would play as I slowly drove through this part of the valley. The sweet scent of ripening berries would fill my car and last even after I passed them.

There was a stark contrast to the sweet smell as I saw laborers working hard to pick the berries, bent over at the waist. It made my lower back ache to think of the hours spent huddled over the strawberry bushes. Grateful for their hard work and for all the work and time it takes to harvest the food we eat.

Ripening is beautiful, but harvesting the fruit is laborious.

When a seed is planted, the water has to soften the seed casing in order for the plant to break through. Then the plant needs to push through the soil to find the light. After sprouting, growth takes place above and below the soil; leaves and roots take form. Then the bud breaks and blossoming begins. Eventually, the blossom creates the beginnings of the fruit. If the circumstances are just right, ripening can occur and the sweetness can be enjoyed.

A plant goes through months of work to produce a moment of sweetness.

There are definite times of struggle during a growth season. The same can be said for the sweet things in life. There are so many celebrations that we acknowledge: the birth of a child, graduations, a new home, a job promotion, retirement, weddings and so much more.

But there is also a lot of work that takes place before the celebrations are had. Pregnancy, studying, relationship ups and downs, saving money, the daily tasks of a job. All these tiny steps are necessary to get to the end result. Each tiny victory is a step in ripening. Each deserve a moment of gratitude.

Practicing gratitude can create even greater celebrations in life. Instead of waiting for the grand finale, make every day a celebration. Being present enough to notice the small things can cultivate more presence and gratitude when the fruit of your labor has matured.

During this full moon, take note of all your small victories. Offer gratitude for each of them. Then create an intention for what is ripening. What do you want to create? What are you working towards? Notice where your small victories have occurred and celebrate what you are becoming.

Ripening is only a moment in time; bring mindfulness to all the little moments leading up and celebrate.

Flow

May 24, 2017 by 0 Comments
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I recently traveled to Utah with my boyfriend for a quick weekend getaway. Days prior to the trip, I was laid off from a job that I used to help supplement income. Despite my efforts, it felt like a constant struggle and my soul was not at peace. I tried my best and remembered a lesson my dad taught me “Always do your best and keep your integrity intact.”

I created a deadline to leave in a month if the energy didn’t shift into alignment. Two days after I set that goal, I was called into an office and laid off. I was grateful for my renewed freedom, but disappointed with the way it ended. Although I did not see it coming, I offered gratitude for the manifestation blessing.

So, there I was in Utah about to embark on a hike. As we stepped onto the trail, we were welcomed by a rushing river tumbling through the valley. It was breathtaking. It had been a while since I had seen a river so swollen and rushing. The sound was meditative and never ending, staying with us until we made our way high enough to where the path became snow.

The snow was a surprise as we trudged our way through ankle deep snow trying to reach a lake that we were told was magnificent. Now, I am not a fan of being cold, let alone hiking through snow in summer clothes. But, I knew that I needed to keep going. I complained to my boyfriend who seemed unfazed by the new terrain. He encouraged me as I made my way up the icy hill.

After what seemed like forever, we made it to the lake. It was surrounded by snow and was frozen solid. I had a bit of disappointment because my expectation was a lake surrounded by a meadow filled with wildflowers. I sat down on a rock and meditated. I released my expectations. I released my fatigue. I released being cold. I sat there in the sun for 20 minutes with my eyes closed, just breathing in and out.

Off in the distance, I could hear a rock falling from up high. I was amazed at the silence of the scenery and the ability to hear a rock falling. The frozen scene created the stillness to be present. I felt at peace.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the lake through a different lens. It was absolutely beautiful. The mountains that surrounded us seemed to provide an expansive nature making me feel so small, yet very powerful. I made it all the way to 9000′ where the sun had not melted a lake yet. I breathed in gratitude for the newfound appreciation and smiled.

I raised my vibration at a higher elevation.

As we made our way back down, I felt renewed and accomplished. Halfway down, the river started rushing as the ground went from snow to mud to dirt once more. The river once again serenaded our hike and I realized that I needed to welcome flow back into my life.

I recognized for my life to flow freely, I had to let myself melt like the snow.

The rigid constraints that I had made to create security and certainty were blocking flow from occurring. I was in my own way. When I take things into my own hands with control, it never really works. I was pushed out of something that wasn’t allowing flow to continue into my life. I noticed what a tight grip I tried to maintain once again.

From experience, I know that the things I hold tight to are the ones that slip away. In this case, it was security and certainty.

The following week, I approached my business with a new-found focus and intention. I realized that when I let go and allow flow to happen, everything falls into place and it is — effortlessly and beautifully. The resistance and pressure I had created blocked the positive energy that was trying to flow into my life.

I was not expecting such a lesson from a river in the middle of the Utah wilderness. But I am so grateful for the raging river and frozen lake that taught me to change my perspective and release expectations in order to allow flow to occur.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  – Lao Tzu

Reclaiming Time

April 25, 2017 by 0 Comments
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I have been struggling with my relationship with time: I feel like there is never enough. When I think back to the days right after I quit my job to travel, I remember the immense fear of “What do I do with my time now?!” As I became more comfortable with my freedom, I felt like I could soar and had no limits. I couldn’t believe that I had created a reality where I could to write, travel and soak up as much sun as possible.

That lasted 2 years. And then I started to get busy with building my business and had to coordinate a schedule again. It was fun and exciting to create something from scratch, but it took up a lot of time. I found myself on the edge of overwhelm.

The frustration that comes from feeling like there is not enough time rob the joy from the present moment.

I found myself no longer enjoying the moment I was in and looked at the time wondering if I had enough to get to the next thing on my long list completed. Then my sleep started to suffer. I would wake up at 3am my mind decided it was the perfect time to think about my schedule and dwell on the feeling of not having enough time.

The feeling of time scarcity created even more fatigue and stress.

I was missing was being in the present moment and embracing what was happening as it was happening. I was spending too much time projecting into the future that I robbed the present moment of my attention. So I decided to break up with my relationship with time in order to rebuild a healthier one.

As I found a healthier way to approach time, I found these tools to help immensely:

  1. Meditation every morning: This grounds me and brings me into the present moment before the day’s events even have a chance to overwhelm. From this new grounded state, I am able to approach the day with focus and intent.
  2. Put the phone down: Having access to the internet, emails, calendars and even time keeps me from enjoying the present moment. I decided to put the phone away while interacting with people in order to fully appreciate their presence and the time we were spending together. I found my interactions became richer and time seemed to feel abundant.
  3. Prioritize tasks: To-do lists are very important to me, but now I make sure that each week, I only write down the “must dos” instead of creating a long list of tasks that aren’t as pressing. When I complete the tasks I set out to do, I realize that I have plenty of time to tackle some of the less pressing priorities.
  4. Make time for myself: All the running around and working made me feel guilty to take moments to myself. But, when I make time for myself, guilt free, I feel more energetic and joyful and time seems to slow down for me when I am not as stressed.
  5. Workout: There is always time to get some physical activity in. Taking walks, bike rides, trips to the gym…can all be fit into a busy schedule. There are apps that have been created to help you get workouts in. Prioritize physical health and the gift will be higher metabolism and more energy to tackle a busy schedule.

The feeling of scarcity that comes from being constantly connected fades when I make time for stillness.

I learned that when I treat time with respect, it doesn’t run out. I feel more abundant with time when I practice mindfulness and step into the present moment.  From this place, I can breathe deeper and notice my surroundings.

Mindfulness at Work

January 27, 2016 by
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Its the beginning of the day and you open your calendar to see the tasks and appointments for the day. There is a sense of restriction within your throat as you think about the day unfolding. You think about all the possible distractions and interruptions that may occur, stress begins to well within your gut, your heart beat starts to race, the phone rings and it sets you off. You’ve only been at work for 10 minutes and you’re ready to go home.

This is common for many people, especially on Monday mornings. This was my story for years — I would stress myself out just anticipating stress. Then, I decided to change that part of me. I knew the trigger well. I allowed it to send me into a deep spiral. I was done spinning. Focus was what I craved. Results desired to be attained. The first step was to stop myself and just be where I was and not off in the “what ifs”.

“Do you know about living in the present?” is a question that I am frequently asked by clients. The answer is more than a simple “yes” or “no”. Living in the present takes practice because it requires mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and in the moment. I started learning to be mindful after a particularly rough breakdown. I was suffering from intense anxiety which gave way to an occasional panic attack. I talked to doctors and therapists and didn’t find the relief I knew was possible until I learned to be still and present.

I was a bulldozer/whirlwind/lightning bolt who did not like to be still. When I found myself sitting in silence at first, I was uncomfortable and tried to control the outcome.

Slowly, I let go. Slowly, I learned to be present. Slowly, my reactions faded from thunderous panic into deep cleansing breaths.

Here are a few things to do the next time you are at work and feel that stewing/panic/rage/annoyance bubble up. Try these steps for a month. Notice the changes you experience. Many of these can be done right at your desk or even before you enter work. With the intention of practicing mindfulness, you will find a new way to cope when work sends you reeling:

  • Breathe: Take 3-5 cleansing breaths in and out your nose. We can forget to breathe during stressful situations which can constrict breathing, thus creating a secondary stress.
  • Reframe your thought: When you find yourself in a negative thought pattern, recognize your thought and reframe it into something positive. Create a mantra or intention for the rest of the day.
  • Write it out: Taking a moment to write out the stress can give your brain the time to process the situation and thus take it off your mind.
  • Practice gratitude: Take a moment and offer gratitude for something.

By actively taking the steps to create a change in negative thought patterns a change is occurring inside the brain. Mindfulness practices can change the way we react to negative situations. As the practice becomes stronger, the reactions become weaker.

For more information on mindfulness and dealing with stress at work, please email me at emily@soulsadventures.com