Growth

The Alchemy of 2021: Finding Hope

December 29, 2021 by 0 Comments

The past informs the future.

I chose HOPE as my word for 2021. After experiencing deep grief in 2020, I wanted to look for silver linings and meaning for the sorrow I was experiencing. I thought that HOPE would serve as a helpful guide after feeling hopeless and defeated.

So for this entire year, I have looked for hope, practiced hope and learned so much about cultivating hope. The thing with choosing a theme is that it shows up in unexpected ways.

Hope didn’t show up easily for me. It felt like I clawed my way out of hopelessness this year. Just when things felt like they were going to work out, a setback would occur. This year felt like a treadmill of 2 steps forward, 1 step back and it was exhausting.

However, HOPE did show up. It shined its way through the darkness and by the end of the year, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. This light showed up because of one emotion that permeated my being for most of the year; anger.

My anger was an alchemist this year.

To be honest, I can’t remember a time when I have felt so much rage in my life. It felt like a fire that burned deep within me. It was stoked by memories of past events, current issues and the grief that was left unresolved. This anger was like a wildfire, burning through everything in its path, including my marriage. I was mad and nothing was getting in the way of the burning.

Hopelessness and anger became the catalyst for change.

I vividly remember my breaking point when I dialed for help. The woman asked me several questions including the address of my location “I’m sitting in my car at the mall.” I said through tears as I continued to answer her questions. She told me about an app for depression and let me know a therapist would be in touch.

Through therapy, I worked through years of piled up grief. I thought I had already done the work, but grief doesn’t just go away. It can be rekindled with new grief. My infertility was the new grief which reminded my soul of all the other sorrows that were buried deep within.

Writing was an alchemist this year.

After saying “no” to a book contract in the beginning of the year, I started writing the book that has been on my heart for several years. Aside from therapy, I joined a grief writer’s group. There were three of us in the group and we held each other accountable in our goal of writing our next books. I finished writing my book in August and am in the process of finding an agent/publisher for it.

My writing changed through this process. With the keen eyes and encouragement of my fellow writers, I wrote out my truth and found meaning in the hard stuff, joy in the triumphs and recognized the bravery and resilience in my spirit. I also recovered the deep well of love within in me.

My marriage was an alchemist this year.

We walked through this wildfire together. At times, it was traumatic. My husband’s COVID, my anger and grief, business stress and the dreams we held on so dearly needed to be released: buying a home and giving birth. We let go again and again, surrendering to the unknown. In the end, we emerged closer with a deeper empathy and understanding of ourselves and each other.

Marriage is a container where the worst parts of you can emerge. It’s also a healing container, if both partners are willing, to allow painful transformations to take place with love. There isn’t a day that I’m not deeply grateful for this love.

Alchemy creates space.

Letting go has created space. I am excited to see what all this space will be filled with. I have a feeling it’s going to be pretty amazing since SO much space has been created.

Hope showed up through the fire, purifying and making elemental changes. This year was an alchemist and after everything, I feel hope-full.

Photo Credit: Kim Belverud Photography

Preparing for Growth

March 20, 2019 by 0 Comments
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How do we prepare ourselves for growth?

The first day of Spring always reminds me of new beginnings and thinking about what needs to be released in order to welcome what is about to grow. I like to think of it as a spiritual spring cleaning. As much as it feels great to get our physical spaces in order, we need to take care of our souls as well. If we aren’t tending to the garden of our soul, it will manifest outwardly.

Every Spring Equinox, I ask myself: “What seeds do I need to plant in order to harvest what I want?” and “What do I need to release in order for growth to occur?”

This equinox is extra powerful as it coincides with the full moon as well. This full moon is called the Worm Moon, named after the time of year when the ground begins to thaw and worms move through the earth, aerating the soil preparing it for planting. Just as this picture portrays the preparation for growth, we too can move through our layers to find what potentially can get in the way of our growth.

To begin, look ahead six months and think about where you want to be in your life and work backwards from there. This is an incredible space of possibility and expansion. Anything is possible if you are willing to put the work in. If you take the time to plan for a bountiful harvest, you are more likely to achieve your goals.

Of course there are things that will come up and best laid plans may go off course, but I have learned that starting a season with a clear intention helps me stay focused and even makes going with the flow of life easier because I am clear on what I want yet able to recalibrate when needed. When we flow through life, it is easier to allow things to happen as they may because the need for control dissipates.

When a season of change happens, the need to control can feel attractive. Since change brings uncertainty, it is easy to assert our will into situations that just need time to evolve. If we crave control and continue to insert our will, then the process doesn’t have the room it needs to grow as it should.

Change isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes courage to commit to do something out of the ordinary, to step outside of your comfort zone and create something new. Growth takes time and can be painful. I remember my knees aching as a child right before I grew a bit taller. The pain was temporary, yet my body let me know that I was changing. There was nothing I could do about these growing pains, they occured, I grew and I was fine.

Preparing for growth takes a lot of intention and a lot of letting go.

So, as you enter this season of planting seeds and the preparing for the growth that will occur, remember your intentions and why you wanted to make these changes. When pain occurs, remind yourself that they are just growing pains. And when it’s time to let go of things that are keeping you from going where you want to go, send them off with gratitude for they part they had in your life and release them.

There is beauty in letting go. The weight of carrying something that is no longer needed only drags us down. When we release, we feel lighter and our souls have the room needed to transform and blossom.

When to Move On

April 11, 2018 by 1 Comment
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How do you decide when to move on?

When things fall apart, it can be hard to find the initiative to get back up to find the space to start or create something new. Days can seem to drag on and putting one foot in front of the other can seem like a huge feat. Sometimes, it feels like you are stuck and doomed to live in a cycle of disappointment.

Figuring out action steps can help bring your mind out of the fog but make sure to give yourself the time to process the disappointment. If it is time to move on, it’s okay to mourn the loss. Allow the healing to occur and take an active role by looking forward to creating something new when the time is right.

Some important questions to ask when there is something that may feel like it is falling apart are:

  1. What isn’t working?
  2. Is there something I can change to make it work?
  3. If I let go and move on from this, what are my next actions?
  4. What do I want to be working towards?

Be honest with yourself and take time to write out the answers. After you answer the questions, look to see if anything sticks out. Are there common themes, new revelations or is the answer clear and the writing exercise solidified your intuition? Sit with the answers, meditate on the next steps and recognize any closure that needs to take place.

Perhaps the most important thing to note is the last question. If where you are now does not help you get to where you want to be, then the answer is clear. Getting clear on what you want to do can ease the pain of ending something that is not meant to be.

When things end, it is important to get back up, even if it takes some time. Making daily efforts to try again seems difficult at first, but after a while the practice of doing creates the momentum needed to move forward. In order to allow growth to take place, movement is necessary.

When life gives us a “no” it creates space for expansion. This is a place for possibility and dreaming. The opposite of expansion is contracting. If contracting is happening, it holds on to pain and disappointment. Stagnation can occur and often times, resentment. Imagine a fist releasing its grasp. Notice how the hand expands as it lets go of its tight hold.

Release and expand; this is the action most beneficial for moving on.

Let what needs to fall down, fall. Don’t act like Sisyphus, continually pushing his boulder up the mountain just to push against gravity once more; this was his curse. Whatever is falling apart, does not need to be a curse. Look to see the blessing in disguise. There is something waiting for this to end in order to have the space it needs to enter your life.

Let go and receive whatever may come with open arms, mind and heart. Replace resistance with cooperation. Momentum can aid in cooperation and soon moving forward will feel exciting and new beginnings will emerge. All you have to do is be honest with yourself, find clarity and start moving forward, one step at a time. In time, the space will be filled with something new.

Grateful Reflections

November 21, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for years. I love the idea of getting together with family and friends to give thanks. One of my favorite traditions is friendsgiving which is a way to share the holiday with friends to reflect on the wonderful things that have happened, the trials that were overcome and the beauty of finding a group of likeminded people to share life with.

Family is also very important to me and in the past couple years, I have extended my family with a recent engagement. When I got specific on what I wanted in a future partner, someone who was close to their family was near the top of the list. It brings me so much joy that both of our families have welcomed each other with open arms. It feels loving, exciting and just right.

As I reflect on thanksgiving, I see that even though there were times of scarcity and sadness but there are so many joyful moments to celebrate. I am firm believer in the fact that my needs are always provided for. Even when it feels tight, I have everything I need and that is comforting.

Here are a few things I am celebrating this thankgsgiving (and always)…

Getting Engaged: For years, I didn’t think this would happen. I had dated and had my heart broken several times. But then, I decided to manifest my dream man. I sat down and got specific on what I really wanted and refused to settle for anything less. Little did I know, he was doing the same and the day we met, I knew he was my person. He proposed to me in June while we were on a hike (one of my favorite things to do). I am grateful for him and the journey and I can’t wait to marry him next year.

Collaborations with creative and soulful entrepreneurs: There are so many beautiful and creative minds and I am fortunate to have collaborated with a few this year. It is my desire to collaborate in this healing and creative space of coaching and it truly was an honor to be a part of a few awesome projects.

Seeing two of my favorite authors speak: I have been reading and following Shauna Niequist and Brene Brown for years. I was so excited to see them on their book tours for their amazing books, Present Over Perfect and Braving the Wilderness Seeing them speak was so inspiring and encouraging.

Holding my book for the first time: After years of trying to get published, it felt surreal to see a book with my name on the cover and my words inside of it. I still can’t believe it when I picked it up. It was crazy to see it in Barnes and Noble as well. Having a book published was probably #1 on my bucket list since I was 9 years old! I am so thankful for all the kind emails and reviews I have received and for each reader who has made Moonlight Gratitude a part of their nightly routine.

Seeing my family all together for the first time in years: I come from a big family and it is rare that all of us are together at the same time. Earlier this year, we all got together for the first time in 5 years. It felt so nice to be with my entire family and laugh like I only laugh when I’m with my siblings.

Watching clients start their own businesses:  I am so grateful for each of my clients! One of the most rewarding things about my work is when I get to see my clients take a step in a completely new direction and create something they love. My mission is to empower women to harness their bravery and go after what they really want. Here are a couple business I wanted to share because these women emulate bravery…Check them out and follow their journeys!

Andora Photography

Healthy Transformations by Hilary

Gratitude is a magnet for joy and I hope that as you reflect on the things that made your year shine bright, joy fills your heart.

Full Sturgeon Moon

August 7, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Tonight’s full moon was named for the time of year when sturgeon could be abundantly found in the Great Lakes. This is also a time of celebration and insight as things are preparing to ripen for harvest. Abundance is all around and the sun still hangs in the sky allowing for longer days. The sturgeon moon is about looking deeper and noticing the goodness all around.

If one looked at a lake early in the morning, it would seem tranquil with the sun just coming up. Boats have not made their way out. All is still. The lake mirrors the sky above, yet there is plenty of life thriving just below the surface.

What is alive below the surface for you?

This full moon illuminates things the things that we have either ignored or that are trying to make their way through into consciousness. All of the longings you have been feeling are signals to what is trying to grab your attention. Ask yourself: What are the messages that are trying to be delivered?

It is easy to bury our desires and needs in the midst of schedules and to-do lists. But, right now it is important to pay attention to what begs to be seen and heard. These things are asking you to be true to yourself.

Heed to the relentless call of your soul.

As harvest arrives, it reminds us that this is a time of great abundance. All the work that was put into change and growth is showing proof. Think back to January and notice what you wanted and needed at that time. See where you put attention and work. The fruits of that labor are about to be harvested.

What is abundant and ready to be received or given in your life?

In order for abundance to take place, we have to be open and willing to give and receive. Open your heart, minds and arms to whatever needs to take place. Let go of hoarding and replace it with generosity. Let go of the longing and replace it with gratitude.

Often times, we sell ourselves short because we don’t believe we are deserving. There can be an underlying guilt when goodness appears. Whether it is a promotion, kindness or a loving relationship we must be open in order to receive the grace and abundance the universe has to offer.

We live in an immensely abundant universe. If you have something to give, give it. If someone is trying to give to you, receive it. Don’t block the flow of energetic love. Pay it forward. Say thank you when it is your turn. Notice where you can spread your abundance whether monetary or emotional.

Gratitude and generosity are cornerstones to an abundant life.

Allow yourself and others to rise up and shine. We are both the fisherman and the fish with something to take and give. Reciprocity keeps abundance flowing.

So tonight, look past the surface and see what is deeper; waiting to be received and notice any places where you can be generous. The moon is highlighting these opportunities. Spend some time in a quiet place and be open to what lies beneath.

Full Strawberry Moon

June 9, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Tonight’s Full moon was named for the time of year when strawberries are ripening; ready for picking. It is an opportunity to reflect on what has evolved in our lives and honor the work that got us there.

A few years ago, I worked in the wine industry and part of my territory was in California’s Santa Maria Valley. I loved this time of year because I could drive through the vast strawberry fields. They seemed to go forever ala The Beatles “Strawberry Fields Forever” which I would play as I slowly drove through this part of the valley. The sweet scent of ripening berries would fill my car and last even after I passed them.

There was a stark contrast to the sweet smell as I saw laborers working hard to pick the berries, bent over at the waist. It made my lower back ache to think of the hours spent huddled over the strawberry bushes. Grateful for their hard work and for all the work and time it takes to harvest the food we eat.

Ripening is beautiful, but harvesting the fruit is laborious.

When a seed is planted, the water has to soften the seed casing in order for the plant to break through. Then the plant needs to push through the soil to find the light. After sprouting, growth takes place above and below the soil; leaves and roots take form. Then the bud breaks and blossoming begins. Eventually, the blossom creates the beginnings of the fruit. If the circumstances are just right, ripening can occur and the sweetness can be enjoyed.

A plant goes through months of work to produce a moment of sweetness.

There are definite times of struggle during a growth season. The same can be said for the sweet things in life. There are so many celebrations that we acknowledge: the birth of a child, graduations, a new home, a job promotion, retirement, weddings and so much more.

But there is also a lot of work that takes place before the celebrations are had. Pregnancy, studying, relationship ups and downs, saving money, the daily tasks of a job. All these tiny steps are necessary to get to the end result. Each tiny victory is a step in ripening. Each deserve a moment of gratitude.

Practicing gratitude can create even greater celebrations in life. Instead of waiting for the grand finale, make every day a celebration. Being present enough to notice the small things can cultivate more presence and gratitude when the fruit of your labor has matured.

During this full moon, take note of all your small victories. Offer gratitude for each of them. Then create an intention for what is ripening. What do you want to create? What are you working towards? Notice where your small victories have occurred and celebrate what you are becoming.

Ripening is only a moment in time; bring mindfulness to all the little moments leading up and celebrate.

Flow

May 24, 2017 by 0 Comments
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I recently traveled to Utah with my boyfriend for a quick weekend getaway. Days prior to the trip, I was laid off from a job that I used to help supplement income. Despite my efforts, it felt like a constant struggle and my soul was not at peace. I tried my best and remembered a lesson my dad taught me “Always do your best and keep your integrity intact.”

I created a deadline to leave in a month if the energy didn’t shift into alignment. Two days after I set that goal, I was called into an office and laid off. I was grateful for my renewed freedom, but disappointed with the way it ended. Although I did not see it coming, I offered gratitude for the manifestation blessing.

So, there I was in Utah about to embark on a hike. As we stepped onto the trail, we were welcomed by a rushing river tumbling through the valley. It was breathtaking. It had been a while since I had seen a river so swollen and rushing. The sound was meditative and never ending, staying with us until we made our way high enough to where the path became snow.

The snow was a surprise as we trudged our way through ankle deep snow trying to reach a lake that we were told was magnificent. Now, I am not a fan of being cold, let alone hiking through snow in summer clothes. But, I knew that I needed to keep going. I complained to my boyfriend who seemed unfazed by the new terrain. He encouraged me as I made my way up the icy hill.

After what seemed like forever, we made it to the lake. It was surrounded by snow and was frozen solid. I had a bit of disappointment because my expectation was a lake surrounded by a meadow filled with wildflowers. I sat down on a rock and meditated. I released my expectations. I released my fatigue. I released being cold. I sat there in the sun for 20 minutes with my eyes closed, just breathing in and out.

Off in the distance, I could hear a rock falling from up high. I was amazed at the silence of the scenery and the ability to hear a rock falling. The frozen scene created the stillness to be present. I felt at peace.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the lake through a different lens. It was absolutely beautiful. The mountains that surrounded us seemed to provide an expansive nature making me feel so small, yet very powerful. I made it all the way to 9000′ where the sun had not melted a lake yet. I breathed in gratitude for the newfound appreciation and smiled.

I raised my vibration at a higher elevation.

As we made our way back down, I felt renewed and accomplished. Halfway down, the river started rushing as the ground went from snow to mud to dirt once more. The river once again serenaded our hike and I realized that I needed to welcome flow back into my life.

I recognized for my life to flow freely, I had to let myself melt like the snow.

The rigid constraints that I had made to create security and certainty were blocking flow from occurring. I was in my own way. When I take things into my own hands with control, it never really works. I was pushed out of something that wasn’t allowing flow to continue into my life. I noticed what a tight grip I tried to maintain once again.

From experience, I know that the things I hold tight to are the ones that slip away. In this case, it was security and certainty.

The following week, I approached my business with a new-found focus and intention. I realized that when I let go and allow flow to happen, everything falls into place and it is — effortlessly and beautifully. The resistance and pressure I had created blocked the positive energy that was trying to flow into my life.

I was not expecting such a lesson from a river in the middle of the Utah wilderness. But I am so grateful for the raging river and frozen lake that taught me to change my perspective and release expectations in order to allow flow to occur.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  – Lao Tzu

Overcoming Fear

November 9, 2016 by 0 Comments
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I felt extremely small and terrified to embark on something I had very little experience in. I looked down at the canyon and felt my knees tingle, like they wanted to buckle. The Grand Canyon is enormous and steep and I was about to hike my way down to the bottom with a pack on my back.

My idea of hiking consisted of trails around California that were shorter in distance and less strenuous which definitely did not involve carrying a 30 pound pack on my back. I had trained for the hike by running for endurance, conditioning for strength and hiking the trails around San Diego to work on elevation. However, I soon learned that my training did not compare to the demands of the Grand Canyon.

Everything was fine inside me until I faced the hike. The months leading up to it, I was excited and sure of myself and physical ability. But, when I saw the other hikers in their real gear, I realized that I looked like a novice in my borrowed pack and 1 water bottle. My feelings of inadequacy continued to grow inside me.

It is amazing how fear can permeate and almost paralyze.

The morning of the hike, I woke up with the sun afraid that I was going to fail and wanted to stop before it even began. I stopped at the gift shop to pick up another water bottle so I didn’t dehydrate and made a step closer to committing to the hike.

As we began hiking down the South Kaibob Trail, my fear was replaced by courage. The farther we hiked down into the canyon, the more diverse the terrain became and I found myself in awe of the beauty around me. I remember my first glimpse of the Colorado River after 4 hot hours of hiking switchbacks and felt wonder excitement at the sight of the canyon’s bottom.

The more I got out of my head, the more my fear dissipated.

After 5 hours, we made it to the bottom. My knees were shaking with fatigue, sweat had soaked my hat and shirt and then the sky opened up and rain started pouring down. It felt so refreshing on my tired and overheated body. I took off my pack and sat down on the shore of the Colorado River and waited for the rest of the group to arrive.

Nights at the bottom of the Canyon are peaceful and enveloped by stars. The lack of technology provided a detachment from everyday life and I was able to sit and think without distraction. For the first time in a very long time, I was completely in the moment and quite enjoyed it.

I realized that my fear was also in anticipation for something great. Pushing myself to the limits was both frightening and exciting. This realization changed my outlook for the hike back up the canyon.

Early the next morning, we began our trek up the Bright Angel Trail which is just over 9 miles and very steep. Each of us climbed at our own pace and I stopped several times to catch my breath as elevation began to affect my breathing. This was by far the more difficult of the 2 hikes.

My pack felt much heavier than on the hike down and by the time I reached the top, I was exhausted. I looked down and could not believe how far I had come and the fear that I once felt was transformed into courage. Sometimes the scariest treks can reap the most rewarding gifts.

Through this journey I learned that to transform fear I needed to:

  • Stay present:  When I allowed myself to think about things that could happen or judged myself based on limiting beliefs, fear took over. Taking a moment to just be and notice where I was and what I was doing in that moment allowed the anxiety to dissipate.
  • Breathe: I noticed I was holding my breath in fear. When I took a breath and brought myself back to the moment I was in, all of those fears lost their power. Breathing brings us back to the moment and slows down panicky thoughts.
  • Reframe the narrative: Fear is a liar!! By turning a negative thought into an empowering thought, I was able to motivate myself even during the hottest part of the day and steepest part of the hike. There was a point where I chanted “I can make it, I are strong” to myself while climbing back up the canyon.
  • Take action: Taking each step one by one helped me move forward and leave fear behind.

Whatever fears are occurring, take the time to reevaluate and reframe. Push past the discomfort and find the new found strength that is waiting to be gained. Before reaction creates waves of fear, find stillness and your breath. It is possible to move forward from the paralysis of fear and come out with a more limber mind, body and soul.

Great adventures always begin with anticipatory excitement, don’t let fear lie to your soul.

The Catalyst

October 12, 2016 by 2 Comments
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Domestic violence takes on many forms and endures for various lengths of time. It takes courage to release the heart’s tight grasp on an abuser. My hope and prayer for this post is that it will encourage men and women to be brave, take a stand against abuse and find the love that resides within.

Here is part of my story:

I was being held up by my throat staring into raging eyes. It was like he had left his body and pain took over which he was now transferring to me. I was begging to be let go of with my hands since I could barely breathe. I was scared and felt my head getting lighter and my body becoming limp.

When he let go, I gasped for air. I felt the warmth around my neck where his hands had been. He stood there staring off somewhere that wasn’t the present moment. I scurried away like a scared animal, retreating to another room to contact my sister.

She was the only person I could think of to reach out to. It was late, even later in her time zone, but she was awake and saved me that night. He had taken it too far this time. From far away, she called the cops.

Everything I had known as love was broken. I thought I was strong enough to deal with the emotional tearing down but this was scarier. I was alone, not by choice, but because something happened and he was taken away. The night that love turned into fear was a catalyst for me.

My first instinct was to pray. I had grown up religious but had put that part of me on a shelf for almost a decade at that point. I fumbled with my words trying to communicate with a God that I hoped was there. It felt awkward at first and I stopped several times to cry. But the prayer was lifted and I repeated “Help me” over and over.

He called me to ask for bail, I refused and hung up. I had the urge to find my Bible, another thing that had been put away for a decade. I searched my closet and found it at the bottom of a box. I opened it and the first thing I read was: “A man of great anger will suffer punishment for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Proverbs 19:19

Chills ran up my spine. That passage jumped from a page in a forgotten book and was pertinent to what had just happened. I laid down on my bed and repeated “Please comfort me. I am so sad and lonely.” Almost immediately, I felt a force of comfort come over me. It was heavier than the air and my heart beat calmed down for the first time that night.

“Come back. Return. Love resides within”

I was being called to return to my soul. A place that I tried to mask for years. In order for me to know love, I had to begin with myself at the cellular level and begin to heal. I realized that I had to go within, be alone and find the courage to let go.

This event was a catalyst to my soul. I started a search where I wanted to find what was sparked inside of me that night. I knew it wasn’t the God full of judgement and fear I grew up believing but one that was loving, peaceful and full of grace.

In a moment of fear, I was comforted by something outside of myself. This began my journey to where I am today. It shook me to my core and demanded that I learn to love differently starting with myself.

*If you or someone you know  is a victim of domestic violence, here are some resources to get help:

National Network to End Domestic Violence

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

Finding Balance

October 5, 2016 by 0 Comments
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Saying “yes” has been an issue for me in the past. At times, in my attempt to help others, I have forgotten to be there for myself. Perhaps this is middle child syndrome–not wanting to disappoint and make sure every one is okay. Whatever the case, I have learned that “yes” sometimes leads to a lack of balance in my life.

For the past year, I have been working on balance. This has been an amazing year with the most wonderful things: a new relationship, writing a book, new business ventures and lots of friendship and family time. However, amidst all of this lovely, I have found myself in anxious and exhausted moments feeling off balance.

I allow my equilibrium to falter. The pendulum swings to and fro and I find myself feeling lost in the middle of everything. I learned to recognize the moments when I need to say “no” to allow for the right “yes” to occur. This was a difficult lesson for me, especially when building a business. My desire to be there in my best possible mindset requires that I heed to this lesson in order to show up correctly in business and in life.

I wanted to be able to accommodate each request, but had to continuously return to my values and mission statements to remind myself what I truly wanted to create. If it doesn’t serve the purpose or goal, I had to decide whether or not to say “no.”

Finding space to answer this question was difficult at first. But, there is always a place that brings me the peace to regain my balance–I had to be still and go within.

When I take the time to quiet my mind and surroundings, I can enter a place of peace where I reconnect with my purpose and intentions. This is a sweet spot for my soul. Once I settle into the stillness, answers appear and calm takes over.

To begin moments of stillness, I practice this simple, mindful practice:

  1. Sit down and close my eyes
  2. Begin taking slow, deep breaths
  3. Count each inhale and exhale up to 10 (inhale: 1, exhale, 2…)
  4. Repeat until calm (usually 3-4 times)

This momentary pause to become present with my breath can calm the nerves of anxiety as well as create balance within.

After I find the stillness, I write down what is actually occurring. In this place, I usually find the “no” that needs to be said or the task that isn’t an actual priority. Once I am able to release the unnecessary “yes” or task, I feel free. Although saying “no” the first few times can be uncomfortable, each one brings me closer to purpose, intention and balance.

In a world where busy is easy, stillness and intention must be practiced. Balance thrives when the calendar allows for mindful reflection. When overwhelm takes over, stop, reset, rebalance and sometimes say no.