Bravery

3 Tips to Harnessing Your Bravery

September 12, 2018 by 0 Comments
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Bravery is something that we all wish we had a little more of. Life has inevitable changes and some are more nerve wracking than others. Bravery’s call is usually from a place deep within and some examples are: to quit your job, end a bad relationship, start your own business, get on stage, have that important conversation, fall in love, or many other ‘scary’ things.

We can all do hard things; it’s a fact of life.

Just think about where you are now and what you have gone through to get here. YOU have overcome obstacles and are brave! Even with this truth, there are times where bravery seems to have disappeared. But, bravery is always with you.

Here are 3 tips to harness bravery and overcome your next obstacle. These tips are meant to help you tap into your innate courage.

1 – Reframe Limiting Beliefs and Fear Based Thoughts

Fear has a tendency to swoop in and say a variety of things to keep us from moving forward. Negative thoughts are limiting beliefs that we have created and can be reframed with practice. When you notice these thoughts creeping in, reframe with an empowering thought.

A good exercise for this is to make a list with 2 columns. On the right hand side, list your limiting beliefs and fear based thoughts. Then, on the left hand side, reframe each thought into an empowering one. Then, when you find yourself stuck in negative thought patterns, you can access this list and reframe and reset.

This exercise is powerful because when we get stuck in our heads, it helps to get the thoughts out on paper. Instead of allowing the thoughts to endlessly circulate, write them out and empower yourself by reframing the thoughts that don’t serve you.

2 – Create an Action Plan

Fear can be a motivator or a paralyzer. Brave people are afraid but active. Inaction can create complacency and it is easy to get stuck and give up. Creating an action plan is a great way to tackle this obstacle. This can be as simple as writing out everything you need to do to move forward or you can even create a detailed plan.

Once you make a list of all the things you need to do, choose one thing you can do in the next 48 hours to get the ball rolling. Even if it is a baby step, it is forward motion. Action will create momentum towards your goal and is one of the most effective tools of bravery. Think of a hiker, they just put one foot in front of the other slowly making their way to the top of a mountain.

Keep moving. Hire a coach or enlist a friend to hold you accountable. You do not have to embark on this journey alone.

3 – Embrace Ambiguity

Bravery = Adventure and it isn’t an adventure if we know what is around every corner. There is supposed to be unknown twists and turns. This is where growth and awe occurs. Think about a time when you didn’t know what to expect and how in the end, everything turned out alright. Sometimes, things are better than expected. But if we hold onto the need to know, we create an expectation and can block what is trying to occur from happening.

Letting go is key. One of the greatest tools to help let go is meditation. Taking the time to breathe into the anxiety that ambiguity creates, can help dissipate its power. Stillness is also a space to hear your soul speak. When we get in our heads, our thoughts can be overpowering. Taking the time to stop, breathe and reset is an effective way to release the grip of control and find the flow of your soul.

Trust that everything will all be revealed in due time and enjoy the ride. Bravery grows in ambiguity and you will emerge with a better story and sense of self if you let things fall as they intend to.

Grateful Reflections

November 21, 2017 by 0 Comments
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Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for years. I love the idea of getting together with family and friends to give thanks. One of my favorite traditions is friendsgiving which is a way to share the holiday with friends to reflect on the wonderful things that have happened, the trials that were overcome and the beauty of finding a group of likeminded people to share life with.

Family is also very important to me and in the past couple years, I have extended my family with a recent engagement. When I got specific on what I wanted in a future partner, someone who was close to their family was near the top of the list. It brings me so much joy that both of our families have welcomed each other with open arms. It feels loving, exciting and just right.

As I reflect on thanksgiving, I see that even though there were times of scarcity and sadness but there are so many joyful moments to celebrate. I am firm believer in the fact that my needs are always provided for. Even when it feels tight, I have everything I need and that is comforting.

Here are a few things I am celebrating this thankgsgiving (and always)…

Getting Engaged: For years, I didn’t think this would happen. I had dated and had my heart broken several times. But then, I decided to manifest my dream man. I sat down and got specific on what I really wanted and refused to settle for anything less. Little did I know, he was doing the same and the day we met, I knew he was my person. He proposed to me in June while we were on a hike (one of my favorite things to do). I am grateful for him and the journey and I can’t wait to marry him next year.

Collaborations with creative and soulful entrepreneurs: There are so many beautiful and creative minds and I am fortunate to have collaborated with a few this year. It is my desire to collaborate in this healing and creative space of coaching and it truly was an honor to be a part of a few awesome projects.

Seeing two of my favorite authors speak: I have been reading and following Shauna Niequist and Brene Brown for years. I was so excited to see them on their book tours for their amazing books, Present Over Perfect and Braving the Wilderness Seeing them speak was so inspiring and encouraging.

Holding my book for the first time: After years of trying to get published, it felt surreal to see a book with my name on the cover and my words inside of it. I still can’t believe it when I picked it up. It was crazy to see it in Barnes and Noble as well. Having a book published was probably #1 on my bucket list since I was 9 years old! I am so thankful for all the kind emails and reviews I have received and for each reader who has made Moonlight Gratitude a part of their nightly routine.

Seeing my family all together for the first time in years: I come from a big family and it is rare that all of us are together at the same time. Earlier this year, we all got together for the first time in 5 years. It felt so nice to be with my entire family and laugh like I only laugh when I’m with my siblings.

Watching clients start their own businesses:  I am so grateful for each of my clients! One of the most rewarding things about my work is when I get to see my clients take a step in a completely new direction and create something they love. My mission is to empower women to harness their bravery and go after what they really want. Here are a couple business I wanted to share because these women emulate bravery…Check them out and follow their journeys!

Andora Photography

Healthy Transformations by Hilary

Gratitude is a magnet for joy and I hope that as you reflect on the things that made your year shine bright, joy fills your heart.

Full Flower Moon

May 10, 2017 by 0 Comments
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I was 33 years old and terrified that I was leaving a career that was my dream 5 years previous. I wanted to work in the wine industry and learn everything I could about it. This job took me all over the world where I met amazing people and experienced culture and cuisine. For a wanderluster with a palate for pinot, this was a dream come true.

I was so grateful and in awe of all the opportunities BUT something just wasn’t right.

Deep down, I was miserable. I wanted to travel on my own terms and write. I knew that writing wasn’t going to pay the bills, but I knew I had to try it. This concept was terrifying. I had created such security and my soul was begging me to leap. I edged up to the cliff, looked down and went right back to work several times.

I decided to take 2 years off and calculated my freedom number; the amount needed to sustain my simplified lifestyle for my temporary hiatus from work. I saved until I had what I thought was enough to support myself. Then, I stepped back to the edge of that cliff and I still felt my knees tremble, unable to leap.

My soul was relentless and the misery transcended anything amazing that was happening. There were promotions, trips and raises but my resistance caused more pain and left me feeling helpless and depressed.

Then, I realized no matter how many times I crunched numbers or made excuses, this calling was going to pursue me until I let go of the security and resistance and opened to the unknown.

The day I quit my job, I was nervous and excited. I had prepared a letter and walked into the office of the company president. This man was responsible for all the great things that I experienced with the company as well as mentoring me along the way. I was sad to deliver this message to him. As we spoke, he was gracious and understanding. I was so grateful. That moment solidified that I was making the right decision.

Immediately following that conversation, I felt the resistance fade and relief took over. I felt light and happy and excited to embark into the unknown.

Suddenly, I had the freedom I had so badly craved but felt fear creeping back in.

I knew that if I didn’t squash the thoughts of scarcity and insecurity, I would not be able to enjoy what had happened. I combated the fear with gratitude. I sat in the feeling of relief and thanked God for helping me — prodding me — pushing me to harness my bravery.

This was a lesson in becoming. When resistance, fear and pride took over, I was not allowing myself the chance to blossom. I remained tightly closed for almost 2 years because I feared the loss of security. I needed to let go of certainty in order to fully open up to the beauty that wanted to unfold.

It wasn’t until I full released my grasp on the need to control and my craving for certainty that I was able to truly appreciate what was transpiring. When I let go, I felt my creative passion explode and writing became something I must do. I celebrated my bravery and embraced uncertainty like an adventure to a new land. My heart and soul opened and blossomed.

Tonight’s Full Flower Moon is the perfect opportunity to notice where abundance and gratitude are taking place in your life and confront and fear that may be holding you back. Address limiting beliefs and affirm your greatness. This is a time to showcase the beauty that has been carefully worked on and celebrate the growth that has occurred.

Open the floodgates of passion and infuse the areas of your life that have grown stale from neglect. Go after what you really want. Open up and bloom right where you are. Remember a time when you felt alive and excited and then ask yourself: “How can I bring that energy back into my life?”

Now is not the time to play small. Let go of anything holding you back. Celebrate all the goodness that is flowing into your life. Offer gratitude for the fruits of your hard work. This is the time to show off your big beautiful blooms and appreciate their glory.

It has been 3 years since I delivered that letter and I appreciate what took root that day and celebrate all that has blossomed since then.

“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  -Anais Nin

Overcoming Fear

November 9, 2016 by 0 Comments
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I felt extremely small and terrified to embark on something I had very little experience in. I looked down at the canyon and felt my knees tingle, like they wanted to buckle. The Grand Canyon is enormous and steep and I was about to hike my way down to the bottom with a pack on my back.

My idea of hiking consisted of trails around California that were shorter in distance and less strenuous which definitely did not involve carrying a 30 pound pack on my back. I had trained for the hike by running for endurance, conditioning for strength and hiking the trails around San Diego to work on elevation. However, I soon learned that my training did not compare to the demands of the Grand Canyon.

Everything was fine inside me until I faced the hike. The months leading up to it, I was excited and sure of myself and physical ability. But, when I saw the other hikers in their real gear, I realized that I looked like a novice in my borrowed pack and 1 water bottle. My feelings of inadequacy continued to grow inside me.

It is amazing how fear can permeate and almost paralyze.

The morning of the hike, I woke up with the sun afraid that I was going to fail and wanted to stop before it even began. I stopped at the gift shop to pick up another water bottle so I didn’t dehydrate and made a step closer to committing to the hike.

As we began hiking down the South Kaibob Trail, my fear was replaced by courage. The farther we hiked down into the canyon, the more diverse the terrain became and I found myself in awe of the beauty around me. I remember my first glimpse of the Colorado River after 4 hot hours of hiking switchbacks and felt wonder excitement at the sight of the canyon’s bottom.

The more I got out of my head, the more my fear dissipated.

After 5 hours, we made it to the bottom. My knees were shaking with fatigue, sweat had soaked my hat and shirt and then the sky opened up and rain started pouring down. It felt so refreshing on my tired and overheated body. I took off my pack and sat down on the shore of the Colorado River and waited for the rest of the group to arrive.

Nights at the bottom of the Canyon are peaceful and enveloped by stars. The lack of technology provided a detachment from everyday life and I was able to sit and think without distraction. For the first time in a very long time, I was completely in the moment and quite enjoyed it.

I realized that my fear was also in anticipation for something great. Pushing myself to the limits was both frightening and exciting. This realization changed my outlook for the hike back up the canyon.

Early the next morning, we began our trek up the Bright Angel Trail which is just over 9 miles and very steep. Each of us climbed at our own pace and I stopped several times to catch my breath as elevation began to affect my breathing. This was by far the more difficult of the 2 hikes.

My pack felt much heavier than on the hike down and by the time I reached the top, I was exhausted. I looked down and could not believe how far I had come and the fear that I once felt was transformed into courage. Sometimes the scariest treks can reap the most rewarding gifts.

Through this journey I learned that to transform fear I needed to:

  • Stay present:  When I allowed myself to think about things that could happen or judged myself based on limiting beliefs, fear took over. Taking a moment to just be and notice where I was and what I was doing in that moment allowed the anxiety to dissipate.
  • Breathe: I noticed I was holding my breath in fear. When I took a breath and brought myself back to the moment I was in, all of those fears lost their power. Breathing brings us back to the moment and slows down panicky thoughts.
  • Reframe the narrative: Fear is a liar!! By turning a negative thought into an empowering thought, I was able to motivate myself even during the hottest part of the day and steepest part of the hike. There was a point where I chanted “I can make it, I are strong” to myself while climbing back up the canyon.
  • Take action: Taking each step one by one helped me move forward and leave fear behind.

Whatever fears are occurring, take the time to reevaluate and reframe. Push past the discomfort and find the new found strength that is waiting to be gained. Before reaction creates waves of fear, find stillness and your breath. It is possible to move forward from the paralysis of fear and come out with a more limber mind, body and soul.

Great adventures always begin with anticipatory excitement, don’t let fear lie to your soul.

The Catalyst

October 12, 2016 by 2 Comments
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Domestic violence takes on many forms and endures for various lengths of time. It takes courage to release the heart’s tight grasp on an abuser. My hope and prayer for this post is that it will encourage men and women to be brave, take a stand against abuse and find the love that resides within.

Here is part of my story:

I was being held up by my throat staring into raging eyes. It was like he had left his body and pain took over which he was now transferring to me. I was begging to be let go of with my hands since I could barely breathe. I was scared and felt my head getting lighter and my body becoming limp.

When he let go, I gasped for air. I felt the warmth around my neck where his hands had been. He stood there staring off somewhere that wasn’t the present moment. I scurried away like a scared animal, retreating to another room to contact my sister.

She was the only person I could think of to reach out to. It was late, even later in her time zone, but she was awake and saved me that night. He had taken it too far this time. From far away, she called the cops.

Everything I had known as love was broken. I thought I was strong enough to deal with the emotional tearing down but this was scarier. I was alone, not by choice, but because something happened and he was taken away. The night that love turned into fear was a catalyst for me.

My first instinct was to pray. I had grown up religious but had put that part of me on a shelf for almost a decade at that point. I fumbled with my words trying to communicate with a God that I hoped was there. It felt awkward at first and I stopped several times to cry. But the prayer was lifted and I repeated “Help me” over and over.

He called me to ask for bail, I refused and hung up. I had the urge to find my Bible, another thing that had been put away for a decade. I searched my closet and found it at the bottom of a box. I opened it and the first thing I read was: “A man of great anger will suffer punishment for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Proverbs 19:19

Chills ran up my spine. That passage jumped from a page in a forgotten book and was pertinent to what had just happened. I laid down on my bed and repeated “Please comfort me. I am so sad and lonely.” Almost immediately, I felt a force of comfort come over me. It was heavier than the air and my heart beat calmed down for the first time that night.

“Come back. Return. Love resides within”

I was being called to return to my soul. A place that I tried to mask for years. In order for me to know love, I had to begin with myself at the cellular level and begin to heal. I realized that I had to go within, be alone and find the courage to let go.

This event was a catalyst to my soul. I started a search where I wanted to find what was sparked inside of me that night. I knew it wasn’t the God full of judgement and fear I grew up believing but one that was loving, peaceful and full of grace.

In a moment of fear, I was comforted by something outside of myself. This began my journey to where I am today. It shook me to my core and demanded that I learn to love differently starting with myself.

*If you or someone you know  is a victim of domestic violence, here are some resources to get help:

National Network to End Domestic Violence

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

Surrender

September 1, 2016 by 1 Comment
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Imagine a fist held tightly. All it holds is the air and creates tension within the body. Then imagine the fist letting go. Notice the release of tension and free flowing air around each finger. Nothing fell out of the palm, because there was nothing to grasp.

Holding tightly onto something that isn’t there is useless and controlling. I have learned this lesson time and again. Perhaps it’s because I am Virgo or someone who does not like to feel out of control. But the minute I try to generate an outcome that seems forced, I create an unrealistic expectation, stress and anxiety.

Several years ago, I was going through a career transition and I remember thinking “I better get a job soon, I have bills to pay” as I wrote my check for my car payment leaving $23 to my name. It wasn’t for lack of trying to find a job, there just weren’t jobs available. So, I had to surrender and take a job as a courier.

I thought that I deserved a better position because of my background and transferrable skillset. My need for control was keeping me from moving forward. However, if I would not have accepted the position, I would have missed out on the opportunity that later resulted in abundant travel.

I was terrified when I let go. I thought that if I held on for just a bit longer, things would fall into place. They never did until I surrendered to the experience and the lessons that were begging to be learned.

When it feels like you are being blindly led, allow trust to take place.

The act of surrender is not giving up; It is an act of trust. This is a sacred place within the soul. A deep, vulnerable place to enter. To let the walls down around the heart and to open the soul to a possibility that can’t be seen is raw, yet absolutely exciting and brave.

There are several things I still need to surrender but each time I do and trust that everything will be alright; I am surprised by the grace of the universe. Situations that seem hopeless when in my control are completely turned around when I let go of the reigns. The universe lovingly allows me the time to realize I need to let go, and when I do, that’s where the miracles happen.

What we can’t see holds a gift if we allow it to happen. It is amazing when things are revealed after the act of trust. What I thought I needed or wanted is always replaced by something greater. With each act of surrender, I am learning that the universe really does have my back and listens to all the desires of my heart.

Confidence: Interviews, Negotiations & Communications

July 14, 2016 by 0 Comments
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One of the topics that consistently comes up in coaching is finding the confidence for a job interview, salary negotiation and in personal affairs. Asserting oneself can feel uneasy because we don’t want to rock the boat. We end up stepping aside for someone else to shine and get that job or risk not getting what we really want.

Confidence comes with clarity. When we can clearly define what we want, we can visualize the outcome and communicate with confidence. Clarity is the super power when it comes to negotiations and communication. A well thought out argument is more likely to be listened to. When we can paint a clear picture or scenario of what and why we want something, we can get the point across with ease.

I remember when I wanted to negotiate my salary and felt fear and doubt rising inside of me, thwarting my confidence and telling me several excuses as to why it would not happen. I chose to sit in that painful place for a moment, but knew that I was the only one that could be my own champion. I went back and forth on approaching my boss and after careful planning, I took the leap and approached him with my proposal.

I had numbers to back up my performance, customer reviews and a number in my head that I wanted. I had done my research on comparable salaries and wanted to feel valued and appreciated. In fact, after all my careful planning, I realized that the underlying reason for my request was because I wanted to feel valued.

This can be said in personal affairs as well. We all want to be seen and heard and most of all valued. Confidence in communication does not need to be paired with arrogance, it is better partnered up with clarity.

When we communicate with confidence, we can be seen as more vibrant, attractive, intelligent and calm.

So how to boost confidence? Here are a few steps to muster courage, grow your confidence quotient and harness your inner bravery:

  1. Make a list of what you want and why. (note: the why is very important)
  2. Ask 10 people what they believe your top 3 qualities/attributes are. Notice any commonalities. (trust me: we sell ourselves short and this is a way to learn how others view us and boost confidence)
  3. Back yourself up with examples, numbers, hard facts, etc… Show them you did your homework and know your stuff!
  4. Visualize and breathe: close your eyes and see yourself negotiating, discussing and receiving. Breathe into this feeling. Find your calm and replace the anxious thoughts with confident thoughts.
  5. Power pose. If you don’t know what I mean, watch Amy Cuddy’s TED talk which has helped many people muster up courage right before the big talks/performances/negotiations.

Whether you are going in for an interview, negotiating a salary or having a hard discussion with a loved one, taking the time to find clarity and confidence will help ease the discomfort. Replace anxiety with anticipatory excitement. You are your own champion and we all want our superheroes to stand tall with confidence. Find yours within and embrace the bravery that lies inside.

For more information on coaching and a free 15 minute consult to customize a coaching package, email me at emily@soulsadventures.com

Saturn Return

June 7, 2016 by 0 Comments
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It has been known as a quarter life crisis. Around the ages of 27-31 it hits and all of a sudden something must or just changes. For some it is a subtle nudge that doesn’t go away until addressed. For others it seems devastating, like everything that had been worked towards was a sham and the feeling of starting over is too much to bear.

This time is known as Saturn Return; a milestone of reaching adulthood. Saturn takes approximately 28 years to make a full orbit around the sun from the time of birth. With each occurrence, responsibilities change, thoughts mature and a shift in mindset takes place.

Each person experiences it differently. It is a time when life does a course correct. Some learn new skills that propel them in the direction that is now waiting to be explored. Others feel this time as a difficult transition, feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. For some, it can be a period of hard work either physically, mentally or emotionally.

My Saturn Return hit me a month before my 28th birthday. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Anxiety flooded my days and I doubted my decisions as everything I had worked for seemed to just not fit any more. I knew I needed a change, but I didn’t know what I needed to do. I wanted answers immediately, but they took their time to arrive.

While I was in what felt like an endless loop of waiting, I learned some hard and valuable lessons. I started recognizing my core values and desired to live a life that aligned with who I wanted to be. This is where the pain set in: I had to give up ideas of what I thought I wanted and where I needed to be to align with what I really wanted. It was scary to think about starting over.

The more I resisted this new path, the harder things seemed to be. But, when I embraced the changes that were occurring, regardless of my attempts to control, a peace set in. I noticed that the amount of anxiety I experienced was in direct proportion to the amount of control I tried to exert. I released my grasp and a new career, friendships, cities and outlook appeared.

I had to make room for what needed to take place.

I noticed 4 phases of a Saturn Return:

  1. Humility: I felt embarrassed thinking that what I swore was my life path was actually wrong. Having to admit to myself and others that I was starting over was recognition that I did not know it all and that I still had some learning to do. OUCH!
  2. Growth: I had to learn new skills to move forward in a new career. I had to learn a lot about myself and grow from mistakes. Embracing my authenticity and bravery catapulted growth and helped me to move on and forgive myself and others.
  3. Emergence: After the inner struggle of control, I was able to emerge onto the new path. There was a new found confidence after I embraced the growth. I felt renewed and excited.
  4. Freedom: Finally accepting the end of where I thought I was heading and embracing the next phase brought a sense of freedom. There is a renewed sense of trust that occurs which feels free and lighthearted.

I have coached many people going through their Saturn Return. There are spiritual shifts, career changes, relationship and life transitions that occur. It can be scary and exciting to navigate. There is something beautiful on the other side of the struggle. It is quite lovely to see the transformations from struggle to freedom. These steps differ in time for each person, but at the end, freedom appears.

Like a caterpillar creating a cocoon, this a time of transformation. Don’t let preconceived notions take over and stunt forward movement and growth. Be open and allow the changes to happen. Celebrate each lesson and be grateful for the path thus far. Soon, the butterfly emerges and spreads its new found wings and soars into freedom.

You have escaped the cage. Your wings are stretched out. Now fly.

-Rumi

For more on coaching, email emily@soulsadventures.com

Reflection and Celebration

December 31, 2015 by 1 Comment
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The end of the year is a time for reflection and celebration. The end is also the beginning. Looking back can help create momentum for the year to come. This is one of my favorite times of the year because I can see where I was, where I wanted to be and the path I chose to forge.

When I look back on 2015, I see a lot of learning, letting go and growth. The year began with trying to figure out how to create a website and training for a race. I worked out my brain and my body as I was determined to complete both tasks. What I learned was that with focus and dedication, I can stretch my mind and body to do things I once thought was impossible.

The key to accomplishing these goals was through setting intentions. Every year, I look at where I would like to grow in several areas including: health, education, fitness, spiritually, relationships, career and creativity. I write down my intentions for the year and some action steps that I will need to take to achieve my goals.

After I have a clear picture of what I want to achieve, I meet with an accountability partner. I have had a friend, colleague and a coach as my accountability partners in the past. I let them know my goals and what I plan on doing to achieve them. They check in monthly to encourage and hold me accountable. During my monthly meetings, I revisit my intentional goals and make adjustments as needed. Accountability has proven to be important to successfully achieving desired results.

As I reflect on 2015, I want to celebrate these things:

  • Running the Cherry Blossom 10 miler with my super amazing running goddess friends
  • Learning to build a website and ditching the phrase “I don’t do tech”
  • Climbing Camel Back Mountain in the early morning before the heat took over
  • Taking time to explore more of America (road trips to Spring Training, Washington and Cape May, visiting friends in Chicago and Florida, boating adventure to Catalina Island and weekends in the woods)
  • Creating and facilitating Intuitive Painting Workshops
  • Signing on with The Muse as a career mentor
  • Learning to let go of relationships that no longer serve me and healing with love and grace
  • Failing forward with business and creative pursuits and learning valuable lessons each time
  • Seeing 2 of my favorite influencers (Elizabeth Gilbert and Lewis Howes) speak and getting books signed
  • Successful birthday fundraising campaign with Charity:Water
  • Meeting amazing people who have enriched my life and brought many smiles to my face and heart

This was a year of living intentionally with love, peace, freedom and compassion. I planted the seeds of vulnerability and reaped the fruits of bravery and resilience.

When you reflect on 2015, what are you going to celebrate?

Making Dreams Come True in Bali

August 5, 2015 by

leo

I met Leo on my first trip to Bali in 2012. He was a barista in my favorite coffee shop, Kopi Desa, and we became friends during my stay. I returned last year to stay for a month and was so happy to see that he had started his own restaurant, Cupit BBQ. Cupit is located in Penestanan right outside of Ubud, the cultural center of Bali. The dining room looks over a river bank with lush tropical plants growing down the hill; such a lovely place.

Leo beams with positivity and greets everyone with a smile. His place specializes in BBQ and is a family run operation. You can tell that the food is made and served with love. It was one of my favorite spots to stop and hang out after a warm walk into town. He serves amazing homemade ginger ale and his beer is kept very cold.  Leo will even play guitar and have a sing-a-long with you if you ask nicely; one of my favorite memories from Bali.

I am inspired by Leo’s story and wanted to share a little bit of his spark. My hope is that this will inspire others to go after their dreams and not be afraid of the work they sometimes require.

What made you decide to go after your dream of opening Cupit BBQ?

Leo: Well since I had lots of experience in many restaurants as a barista, waiter and cook, I wanted to make something small like Cupit so I could do all the stuff I have learned. I wanted to have a restaurant before. When it all works, I want to travel to see the world.

What does “dream come true” mean to you?

L: The thing that we really wanted to have and we get it after the hard work we have done.

Are your dreams coming true?

L: I have Cupit but I have other dreams that I need to work out. I really want to travel as you know I tried for a U.S. visa before and that didn’t work. I want to try again and I want to travel to Europe. I know its going to be hard but I believe there are always ways to make it happen. I know I will get it. Cupit was my first dream and it came true.

When you were a little boy, what did you want to do when you grew up?

L: Honestly, I have know clue what  I want to be. Since we have a difficult life (poor) before, my family was always working. I started working the first time when I was 6 years old. I helped my mother sell her ice cream and part time I went to school. So, most of the time, I worked hard as a kid. Then I went to tourism school and I worked on better jobs and learned a lot of things.

Like English? Because you speak lovely English.

L: Yes! I learned English in university for 4 years. But before, I learned it a little bit as well in high school. I also learned Japanese as well in high school.

How many languages do you speak?

L: Bahasa, Balinese, English and a bit of Japanese now since I never practice. I am still learning Dutch and German.

That is amazing! Are you proud of yourself?

L: Yes! I had a big dream to make come true. “I am a dreamer, and I am not the only one” that’s written on my arm so I can see it and work on my dream.

I love that! So, I teach people about living an intentional life. It is basically not just working towards goals but having a reason (intention) behind everything we do. What would you say your intentions are?

L: Well I think for me its simple. I really want to change my life to be better than before. I want to see the world. By starting Cupit, I think I can make it happen.

Terima Kasih, Leo!

I greatly appreciate Leo for his openness and willingness to share with me. Most of all, I am grateful for his friendship and inspiration. Relentlessly pursuing a dream works with the right intentions. Leo wasn’t afraid of the hard work and I admire him for sticking to his dreams. When I returned home from my trip, his story inspired me to be brave and start my business. Bali continues to teach me lessons, even a year after I’ve returned. If you get a chance to visit this enchanted place, make sure to visit Leo’s restaurant and say hello. You won’t regret it.