by 
We celebrate our first anniversary today. This year seemed to fly by, I can’t believe a year has passed since our wedding day. I learned so much, we grew closer together and learned that love can continue to grow deeper than imaginable. I love him more today than a year ago and I am so happy that we chose each other. Marriage has been wonderful, secure, loving and also hard work.
The past year has been a growth period full of new levels of empathy and love. There was armor that I didn’t realize I was still wearing being removed, piece by piece in the safety net of love. I have found a person who feels like home. We learned how to listen deeper, communicate better and forgive quicker.
Marriage takes work and if anything, learning how to communicate effectively was the most important lesson for me. Sometimes it feels brutal but always, in the end, we come together with a greater understanding of each other. I’m grateful that we can give each other the space to fully be whoever we are and speak from the heart. We created a safe place to unveil our thoughts and be ourselves. There is great comfort in feeling seen and loved for exactly who I am.
He sees me. He accepts me. Every day, I am reminded that I am enough.
I love the routine of marriage. I love the steadiness of his presence, every day, with his routine and joyful spirit. I love that I can be my normal self: quiet, introspective and emotional with bouts of silliness. We balance each other. He reminds me to lighten up. I remind him to slow down.
We both work from home in our small, one bedroom apartment and in the past year, we have learned each other’s non verbal cues and how to give space when there isn’t much space to physically give and when to listen when words just seem to flow.
Communication is what it’s all about because we are saying so much beyond our words.
As we learn to communicate better, we keep in mind a promise we made to ourselves and each other: to strive to become the best versions of ourselves. Knowing this, we have been able to have the hard conversations and are learning to bring compassion and empathy to the gray areas and parts of ourselves that we are learning to embrace.
That’s the thing, there is a beauty in the acceptance that I find. Even when our initial reaction is to judge because we don’t understand, we try our best to find a new level of understanding. I’m honestly blown away by this past year and can’t imagine what year two will hold.
One of the pieces of advice that was repeated over and over was. “Continue to date each other.” I am so grateful we received this advice because even though the routine feels good, safe, secure and predictable, we still do our best to go on dates. There have been weeks when I didn’t want to go on a date, but every time, I feel myself softening and releasing whatever reasoning I had to stay home.
I am learning that marriage is where the two of us are on an adventure together, learning how to communicate and become a part of a team. My brother was the officiant at our wedding and he emphasized the importance of teamwork in marriage. It’s true. There are days when I am so overwhelmed and he is able to take care of things and then I can do the same for him. On our best days we make a great team working seamlessly side by side towards our goals.
I guess for me, the first year of marriage meant softening, communicating and compromising. I feel stronger as a partner and am proud of us for facing the lessons head on, together and growing through them instead of shutting down.
Did I think marriage would take so much work? Not really. But I also didn’t know that marriage would expand my perception and heart as much as it has. I can’t imagine what I’ll be feeling or saying a year from now, but if we keep this up, I feel like my world will just keep getting richer as I continue to reach new levels of understanding with him.
