by 
The past week has been heartbreaking. I have watched several people spew hate and vitriol at strangers on social media and it’s not okay.
We are living in a time that calls for understanding, inclusion, and justice. And yet…the issues are becoming deeper with the harsh judgments and criticisms.
I grew up in a very fundamentalist and legalist environment and I am seeing so many parallels to it on social media and it turns my stomach. I’ve even questioned if I want to continue to be a part of something where such “all or nothing thinking” runs rampant.
When we see hate, we must show up with love.
However, I find myself asking (cue the Black Eyed Peas) “Where is the love?” I am shocked at some of the comments I see and even posts from people I follow(ed) correcting, admonishing, and judging so harshly.
So I took a break…and may continue to because I know I need to learn more about what’s going on and wrestle with the discomforts that have surfaced during the past couple months.
There are a few things that we all need to remember when using social media:
- Social media can cause an urge to compare
- Social media can cause an information vortex (like any media outlet)
- Social media causes high anxiety for many
- Social media can be a tool to bully others
This past week was supposed to be a call for justice and inclusion and yet, I see more judgement and hate than ever (and I thought COVID posts were mean!). It’s okay to be upset by the injustices. It’s okay to want to do something about it. It’s okay to admit that you need to learn more.
It’s not okay to assume someone else isn’t doing their part. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, our reactions and our thoughts. THAT’S IT! So if we think that spewing hate and judgement is the answer, we have it all wrong.
I’d like to challenge you to flip the narrative in your mind next time you see something online that makes you want to lash out and comment in cruelty. Stop yourself, take a deep breath or three and ask:
- Why am I being triggered right now?
- What about this is causing me to react?
- If I am judging this person, what do I see in myself that causes me to judge?
- Will my comment bring understanding and love to this situation?
- Is it my job to correct or change this person?
After asking these questions, comment or move on.
The same can be said if someone isn’t showing up on social media. Do not assume they are staying silent and inactive. They may be taking a break to learn more, volunteer, show up physically to help or they may need a mental health break. All of these reasons are okay. Assuming the worst only makes you upset.
I know the urge to want to create change deeply and intimately. I chose my career path because I feel this urge so deeply. However, I know for a fact that nothing I can do or say will make someone change. I can inspire, encourage and hold accountable (if asked), but that person chooses how they show up in the world.
When we release the need to control others, we free up so much space to create change within, which ultimately creates outward change!
Think about that. When you let go of the need to control others, you have the freedom to change yourself. Life is a learning experience and I guarantee you none of us have any of this right. Social change creates unrest and disrupts the status quo. It’s okay to be uncomfortable and let others find their own way.
The new narrative is being written, edited and translated right now.
Please be part of the solution by spreading love. If you don’t know what to say or do, ask. I reached out to several friends early last week to ask how to show up. They thanked me for asking. All I received was love and advice, because I asked. Please love more.
Love will heal. Love nurtures understanding and growth. Love erases hate.
How will you show up in love today?
