Today was a difficult day. I wanted to go home and find my comfortable place of solace where I can recharge my introvert soul in order to continue this journey out in the world. We have been on the road for 25 days and this is our 5th city. There have been a lot of people, noises, sights and experiences.
Overall it has been amazing and perfect. We are in Spain, one of my favorite places. However, I am an introvert. Like a, I need alone time for a long time, introvert. And well, that’s just not happening on this trip.We both work from home and every week we are in a new place, in a new apartment, some smaller than others and it’s hard to get the space I crave.
Today, my body told me to stop. We were on a run. I told him to go ahead because my body was telling me it was done. He ran off and I tried to keep my pace with my goal of 2 miles in mind. I hit my goal and stopped and waited for him to make his way back.
When he returned, I started to cry. I told him I needed space and alone time. I told him I craved the comfort of home. We made a plan for me to get the space I needed today, because we are here and not home and there is only so much we can do.
Spain is very lively. Even if you are alone, life is going on around you. I am surrounded by noise. I can hear people chatting, forks clicking on plates, cars passing, children playing, footsteps even. Even if I am totally alone, I am not.
I am reminded that through pain growth occurs. Something is happening. I don’t know what it is yet, but I think it has to do with a sense of home. I keep craving home. A place to call home. My own space. I’ve never felt this strongly about “home” before.
Tonight, Nate went on a walk. I stayed back to get some alone time and creating in. The windows are open, there is a warm breeze coming in and down the street, a group of people are singing. It’s perfection. There is the constant buzz of the city accompanying their voices. Every once in a while, a bell rings from the kitchen in the restaurant next door. Spain is a symphony and I am learning to find peace in the noise.
I am learning that home is within, with my person and I can take that everywhere. Do I still want my space and the comfort of home? Yes! I believe this journey is creating a deeper sense of appreciation for when that happens. One day, I’ll be sitting in the space I’ve created with all its comforts and remember this very special time when I traveled with my husband, learned a new level of comfort and was serenaded by the city of Seville.