Vibrancy

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Several years ago, I was driving down the street to work. The jacarandas were in bloom. There was a breeze creating a shower of beautiful, purple petals all the way down the street. At the end of the street was San Diego harbor. It was a dreamy morning. Everything was lined up to make beautiful day.

Everything except my energy. As I drove down the street, I felt the strangle of panic take over. My breathing became shallow and I started to hyperventilate. As I parked my car, tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t breathe. I allowed myself to sink deeper and deeper until I was paralyzed. I called in sick from the parking garage and drove home to cry.

Fast forward 6 years and I am driving down that same street and the conditions are exactly the same. I parked the car and stood underneath the sprinkle of jacaranda petals and smiled. The street was still the same. The trees were still offering their gift of beauty. The only thing that had changed was my mindset and the energy I was choosing to emit.

Think about how a lightbulb is able to shine. Energy flows through to emit light. The exchange of energy with a tiny filament can light an entire room. Cut off the energy and the room goes dim. That is amazing!

We too have the ability to allow energy to flow through us to emit vibrations that invite like towards us. For instance, the regular practice of gratitude creates more opportunities for gratitude. When we give love, it comes back. The same can be said with receiving gratitude and love. When we allow these vibrations to flow through us, we raise our frequency of vibration and therefore are more vibrant.

On the other hand, negative emotions can create the same effect within. A bad day can spiral into a bad week if we choose to dwell on it. The energy that it creates attracts things like commiseration, anxiety and stress. This is not to say that bad things won’t happen…but the energy we allow to flow through us will either brighten or dull our vibrancy.

To live a vibrant life, one has to look at the mind, body and soul. Our minds have great power over us and when we live and react from the mind, we tend to try to rationalize everything. This is where anxiety can take over. If there isn’t an answer or timeline we can create meanings which spiral into beliefs which then create like energy.

The same goes for our body. What we put into it and how we treat it creates vibrational energy that we emit. For instance, the feeling after eating a fresh salad as opposed to a greasy cheeseburger. Its no surprise that eating foods with higher vibrational energy like plants help make us feel more vibrant and energetic.

Finally our soul is our storehouse of energy. This is where vibrancy resides. Creating a routine where there is a connection to the soul is important to nurturing a vibrant life. Books, prayer, meditation, walks in nature, writing, art and stillness all have the power to connect us to our soul and create positive energy.

To create a more vibrant and energetic life, here are 10 things that will help raise the your vibrations and nurture vibrancy:

  1. Exercise
  2. Daily morning routine where you connect to your soul (it can be as short or as long as you like, just take the time to connect.)
  3. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Plants have high vibrational energy.
  4. Spend time in nature
  5. Smile
  6. Practice gratitude daily. Name 3 things you are grateful for every day. Write it down
  7. Take time to connect with loved ones.
  8. Breathe
  9. Be careful of what you take in. Think about how you feel after reading or watching something. If you notice that something brings you down, ask yourself: “Is this necessary for me to continue to consume?”
  10. Give of your time and/or resources to help others.

There is a beautiful thing that happens when we start to shine our lights more vibrantly: we light up what was once dark. When we choose to operate from a higher frequency, everything, including you seems more vibrant. This is because the vibration is actually opening the mind and eyes to what has been in front of us all along.

So This is Love

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One year ago, I went on my first date with the man I fell in love with. I had given up on falling in love as the 2016 New Year began. I gave dating it’s fair shot and found myself disappointed more times than I cared to think about. After years of dating (online, set-ups, apps…) I was ready to throw in the towel and date my passport.

During a discussion with a friend who was newly dating someone she found amazing, I told her that I would spend the year single and just focusing on my work and adventure.

“Just give it one more try.” she encouraged. “You have to keep putting yourself out there even through the disappointment.” I told her that I would think about it and maybe try.

I was scared to put my heart out there again and started to feel the comfort of solitude once more. Was this idea really worthwhile?

When I stepped back from the situation, I realized that I needed to get crystal clear on what I wanted. I saw that my expectations created a sense of control that was actually just causing stress. I wanted to intentionally put myself out there and create the heart space for love to reenter.

So this is what I did:

  • I made a list of what I really wanted and what was the most important and started to visualize this man. At first, I thought it was a joke, but the more I dug deep into what I really wanted, I could actually see and feel it happening.
  • I worked on emulating what I desired. (loving, open, compassionate…)
  • I made sure that if I agreed to go on a date, it would only be if the person seemed to align with this vision.
  • I let go of expectations…This is a big one. Letting go when the heart is involved is so so hard!
  • I trusted that the universe knew exactly who I needed in my life.

That was it. I made this decision and on January 27th, I went on a date with the most amazing man I have ever met.

Something inside of me calmed down after our first encounter. It wasn’t until a few months later that I realized my heart had found a home. 

When I think back on all the struggles, heartaches and tears, I see that I was pushing something to happen that I wasn’t really clear on. With clarity and intentional focus, everything else cleared away. There was no question or anxiety when it came to him and we came together naturally.

Getting to know and falling in love with him has been one of  the greatest adventures of my life. When I decided that I was going to get clear on what I wanted, I opened my eyes, mind and heart to whatever that would be.

I wrote this to give hope. I waited 35 years to find my person. I speak to women all the time in coaching sessions wondering when love will find them. I did not expect to find a man on a little app who happened to have the same values as me.

Don’t give up hope! When we talked about how we met, we realized that we both did the same thing to manifest each other. He had a list and visualized it too. I could not believe it. What you seek is seeking you.

When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.

-Rumi

I kept this quote close to my heart during my years of searching. So for any of you who wonder “WHEN?!” I hope this brings some peace to the “furnace” of anxiety. Get specific (I can’t say this enough) and then let go of control. He’s out there…and so are you. Find your place of patience and allow love to flow. There is peace on the other side of the struggle.

And to my lovely, intentional man: thank you for manifesting, visualizing and showing me that love is effortless and amazing with the right person.

XO

Full Wolf Moon

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JoJoeArt

There is an old parable where a chief tells his grandson about two wolves that live inside each person. “These wolves fight in an intense battle. One is light and the other is dark.”

“The light wolf represents things like love, joy, happiness, peace, generosity and compassion.” The chief explains. “The dark wolf represents things like hatred, sorrow, false pride, envy, worry, greed and guilt.”

“Which one wins the battle?” the grandson inquires.

“The one you feed” the chief replies.

The first full moon of the year is the Wolf Moon. As a hungry wolf looks up to the moon, it howls in hunger, yearning to be fed. This is the time to recognize which side we tend to feed. Since the battle rages within, you have to choice to focus on the light and starve the dark or feed the dark and suffocate the light. This full moon shines a light in these areas:

1) Intuition: Wolves are animals that travel in packs as well as alone. Is this a time where isolation is necessary in order to get in touch with your purpose again? Or Is this a time to surround yourself with others to get out of your head and give of yourself? Isolation and connection both serve a higher purpose. Each are necessary at different times. Tap into your intuition and find ways to support your needs.

2) Hunger: Wolves are hunters. With the new year just beginning, there are goals and aspirations ready to be attained. How are you going after what you really want? Is your inner hunter alive and well? Tap into this nature by writing down specific goals and actions you will take to bring yourself closer to the goal. Feel victory in your gut. Take action.

3) Expression: Wolves howl at the moon expressing their primal energy and inner secrets. What parts of you are you hiding away that you wish you could express? Let the light of the full moon illuminate the part of you that you keep hidden. Write it down, say it out loud, dance it out or even howl at the moon. Expression is key here. Give yourself the freedom to express and release the primal energy that has been pent up.

By tapping into your intuition, you can address the hunger within and express yourself fully. Make an effort to implement what is needed to feed your hunger. Your needs will reveal themselves to you with some time spent in stillness. Embrace them and honor them. Choosing to acknowledge and feed your deepest needs will create balance and fulfillment. Choose which wolf you want to feed.

An Exercise in Acceptance

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Last year I had several lessons on acceptance. There were times where expectations weren’t met and I had the choice to struggle, fight and live with anxiety OR just accept the circumstances and move on. I’d like to say that I practiced the latter with ease, but no, I allowed the struggle to stay real in many cases. It was in these moments that I truly had to open my arms to the universe and cry:

 “I’m letting go now! Please help me move forward.”

I seemed to repeat this prayer often. And you know what?! It was answered each and every time. But the thing is, the way it was answered was not always how I envisioned and this is where I learned the beautiful lesson of acceptance.

The beautiful thing was at the other side of my resistance, was a new plan that I would not have envisioned. When I surrendered to the new reality, I felt everything inside of me relax. I could breath again and my thoughts were no longer hijacked by the anxious grip of control.

The less I resisted, the easier things became.

When you cry out to the universe, it hears you. In fact, it knows exactly what you need. Which is probably why such prayers are uttered from our core, in moments of desperation and anxiety. It is like we try to hold on with every last bit of control until we are left hanging, desperate to find stability once more.

And then, the answers come in; sometimes in a trickle and sometimes in a flood.

When the answers arrive, acceptance begins. In order to fully accept, there has to be an element of remembering where you were before the prayer was lifted. The ego tends to love this tender spot. It can take the temporary relief and decide to take over once again. This is not full acceptance.

One of the hardest lessons to learn is to accept things the way they are and let go of expectations. This is a struggle. It is easy to place expectations on the outcome. When expectations are set, they leave room for disappointment.

To accept is to receive. To receive is to welcome. There is no control here, only openness.

Imagine letting go of a worry and watching it float away into the ether, like a balloon. As you watch it fly higher and higher, you feel lighter. The weight of control is lifted and hands that once held on so tightly are now free to receive whatever is next.

This weightlessness is available on the other side of control. When the answers arrive, squelch the desire to control with gratitude and acceptance. Practice openness and when anxiety wells up, it is a cue that something no longer serves your soul. Release it. Accept whatever needs to enter your life. All will be well.

New Years Intentions

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It’s that time of year to reflect on the past year and plan for the year to come.

For many, 2016 was a year of great transition and change. There was an energy of control vs. surrender swirling about. Some plans failed and others never took off. This left many of us with the feeling of defeat. What started as the best laid plans, began to unravel as the plans were not meant to be.

2016 was a call of resilience and perseverance mixed in with immense joy. In some parts of life it was the best year ever and in others it was a struggle that seemed never-ending. There were beautiful happenings and courageous changes. Many emotions were had and lessons learned. There is beauty in such transitions and we all got through it and celebration is in order.

Winter has set in and new beginnings are on the horizon. It is a time to reflect and plan for a lovely and dynamic 2017.

Before the new year begins, spend some time thinking about what you would like 2017 to look and feel like. Create an intentional awareness by asking the following questions…

  1. What am I grateful for in 2016?
  2. What do I want to accomplish in the next 12 months?
  3. How do I want to feel next year?
  4. What can I let go of that no longer worked for me?
  5. What changes do I need to make in order to accomplish my goals?

After you’ve spent some time answering these questions, you can begin to create intentional goals for the coming year. Instead of creating resolutions that can fall apart as the year continues, setting intentions will take into account what you want to accomplish and how you want to feel. Intentions ask “why” as well as “what” when it comes to goals.

Finally, visualize each goal. See yourself accomplishing and feeling the way you desire. Spend some time each day visualizing each outcome. This is a powerful exercise and sends this desired energy out into the universe.

Remember, what we focus on expands. With a little focus through visualization, our intentions will expand and begin to take shape.

To help create momentum, I have attached a free download below. The intention is to think about different areas in your life where you may want to create a goal. Then, there is room for 1-3 actions steps needed to take to complete each goal.

2017 Goal Planning

May your New Year be filled with hope, happiness, health and love!

Give the Gift of Coaching

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It’s the season of giving and saving!

Coaching can be a wonderful gift idea for that special someone who has everything but doesn’t take time for themselves…perhaps that someone is you.

I am offering new monthly coaching packages at a huge savings. For only $300/month, you or your loved one can receive up to 4 coaching sessions a month with unlimited email support.

This package creates the flexibility to have four session which can vary at 30 or 60 minutes each/ Some things need to be processed and talked about in length and then some things just need quick resolve.

Here are a few reasons to consider coaching:

  • Overcoming doubts and fear narratives
  • Navigate transitions and change
  • Create greater results at work
  • Overcome blocks in dating and relationships
  • Answer and explore spiritual questions
  • Heal and let go after loss or break-up
  • Career changes
  • Set goals
  • Create accountability
  • Deepen spiritual connection
  • Transcend guilt and shame from religious conditioning
  • Become the greatest version of yourself

Whatever your need may be, we can discuss the best way to support you and create a personalized action plan.

To gift coaching, email me at emily@soulsadventures.com. Each package comes with a complimentary 15 minute consult to determine the best plan of action.

Have a beautiful holiday season,
Emily

“I call Emily my awesomeness coach. She always pushes me to be better not just from a business aspect but a personal one as well. Emily is always encouraging and positive with suggestions on how to overcome small obstacles…with Emily’s experience and guidance, it all seems manageable and achievable. We all need an awesomeness coach like Emily, and I definitely recommend her to anyone looking to improve their careers or life!”  – Nicole H., New Jersey

“I was amazed at how her guidance has “opened my eyes,” to things about myself and how I fit into the world around me. Every session leaves me with a new sense of peace, clarity, and self-realization, that is bundled up in an enforceable life plan.I would highly recommend the career/spiritual services of Emily Silva!” – Charles C., Boston

Giving Thanks

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This is my favorite time of year. I love the collective attention on giving thanks. For several years, practicing gratitude has been a daily habit and I have noticed changes in my outlook, overflowing blessings and a more open heart from this practice.

It is amazing how the simple act of saying or writing “I am grateful for…” can create a shift in perspective. Ever since I started this practice, I notice the smallest things like a tiny flower blooming in the weeds because my mind is calibrated to see the good.

Practicing gratitude does not take extra time. In fact, you can do it as you pour your morning tea, on your commute, during lunch and my favorite, right before bed. As you end your day, reflect on the day’s activities and think of at least 3 things that you are grateful for, every day.

I was reviewing my gratitude journal during a particularly rough day. As I read the pages, my thoughts of scarcity and defeat transformed into abundance and victory. I was reminded of all the greatness that had occurred and felt immense gratitude and joy from the exercise. It is difficult to maintain a negative mindset when you remind yourself of all the things you are grateful for.

Spend some time this week offering thanks to the universe for the opportunities it has provided and to the people who have made an impact on your life. Then, create a daily practice which can change your mind, body and soul. Positive thoughts have a higher vibrational frequency and will attract like into our lives. When our output is grateful, it is amazing how more things to be grateful for occur.

Giving thanks can also raise the vibrations that have been lowered due to recent events. Will you do your part to raise the planet’s vibration and offer gratitude today?

Here is a free download to help you get started on your gratitude practice: Gratitude Sheet

Overcoming Fear

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I felt extremely small and terrified to embark on something I had very little experience in. I looked down at the canyon and felt my knees tingle, like they wanted to buckle. The Grand Canyon is enormous and steep and I was about to hike my way down to the bottom with a pack on my back.

My idea of hiking consisted of trails around California that were shorter in distance and less strenuous which definitely did not involve carrying a 30 pound pack on my back. I had trained for the hike by running for endurance, conditioning for strength and hiking the trails around San Diego to work on elevation. However, I soon learned that my training did not compare to the demands of the Grand Canyon.

Everything was fine inside me until I faced the hike. The months leading up to it, I was excited and sure of myself and physical ability. But, when I saw the other hikers in their real gear, I realized that I looked like a novice in my borrowed pack and 1 water bottle. My feelings of inadequacy continued to grow inside me.

It is amazing how fear can permeate and almost paralyze.

The morning of the hike, I woke up with the sun afraid that I was going to fail and wanted to stop before it even began. I stopped at the gift shop to pick up another water bottle so I didn’t dehydrate and made a step closer to committing to the hike.

As we began hiking down the South Kaibob Trail, my fear was replaced by courage. The farther we hiked down into the canyon, the more diverse the terrain became and I found myself in awe of the beauty around me. I remember my first glimpse of the Colorado River after 4 hot hours of hiking switchbacks and felt wonder excitement at the sight of the canyon’s bottom.

The more I got out of my head, the more my fear dissipated.

After 5 hours, we made it to the bottom. My knees were shaking with fatigue, sweat had soaked my hat and shirt and then the sky opened up and rain started pouring down. It felt so refreshing on my tired and overheated body. I took off my pack and sat down on the shore of the Colorado River and waited for the rest of the group to arrive.

Nights at the bottom of the Canyon are peaceful and enveloped by stars. The lack of technology provided a detachment from everyday life and I was able to sit and think without distraction. For the first time in a very long time, I was completely in the moment and quite enjoyed it.

I realized that my fear was also in anticipation for something great. Pushing myself to the limits was both frightening and exciting. This realization changed my outlook for the hike back up the canyon.

Early the next morning, we began our trek up the Bright Angel Trail which is just over 9 miles and very steep. Each of us climbed at our own pace and I stopped several times to catch my breath as elevation began to affect my breathing. This was by far the more difficult of the 2 hikes.

My pack felt much heavier than on the hike down and by the time I reached the top, I was exhausted. I looked down and could not believe how far I had come and the fear that I once felt was transformed into courage. Sometimes the scariest treks can reap the most rewarding gifts.

Through this journey I learned that to transform fear I needed to:

  • Stay present:  When I allowed myself to think about things that could happen or judged myself based on limiting beliefs, fear took over. Taking a moment to just be and notice where I was and what I was doing in that moment allowed the anxiety to dissipate.
  • Breathe: I noticed I was holding my breath in fear. When I took a breath and brought myself back to the moment I was in, all of those fears lost their power. Breathing brings us back to the moment and slows down panicky thoughts.
  • Reframe the narrative: Fear is a liar!! By turning a negative thought into an empowering thought, I was able to motivate myself even during the hottest part of the day and steepest part of the hike. There was a point where I chanted “I can make it, I are strong” to myself while climbing back up the canyon.
  • Take action: Taking each step one by one helped me move forward and leave fear behind.

Whatever fears are occurring, take the time to reevaluate and reframe. Push past the discomfort and find the new found strength that is waiting to be gained. Before reaction creates waves of fear, find stillness and your breath. It is possible to move forward from the paralysis of fear and come out with a more limber mind, body and soul.

Great adventures always begin with anticipatory excitement, don’t let fear lie to your soul.

The Catalyst

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Domestic violence takes on many forms and endures for various lengths of time. It takes courage to release the heart’s tight grasp on an abuser. My hope and prayer for this post is that it will encourage men and women to be brave, take a stand against abuse and find the love that resides within.

Here is part of my story:

I was being held up by my throat staring into raging eyes. It was like he had left his body and pain took over which he was now transferring to me. I was begging to be let go of with my hands since I could barely breathe. I was scared and felt my head getting lighter and my body becoming limp.

When he let go, I gasped for air. I felt the warmth around my neck where his hands had been. He stood there staring off somewhere that wasn’t the present moment. I scurried away like a scared animal, retreating to another room to contact my sister.

She was the only person I could think of to reach out to. It was late, even later in her time zone, but she was awake and saved me that night. He had taken it too far this time. From far away, she called the cops.

Everything I had known as love was broken. I thought I was strong enough to deal with the emotional tearing down but this was scarier. I was alone, not by choice, but because something happened and he was taken away. The night that love turned into fear was a catalyst for me.

My first instinct was to pray. I had grown up religious but had put that part of me on a shelf for almost a decade at that point. I fumbled with my words trying to communicate with a God that I hoped was there. It felt awkward at first and I stopped several times to cry. But the prayer was lifted and I repeated “Help me” over and over.

He called me to ask for bail, I refused and hung up. I had the urge to find my Bible, another thing that had been put away for a decade. I searched my closet and found it at the bottom of a box. I opened it and the first thing I read was: “A man of great anger will suffer punishment for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” Proverbs 19:19

Chills ran up my spine. That passage jumped from a page in a forgotten book and was pertinent to what had just happened. I laid down on my bed and repeated “Please comfort me. I am so sad and lonely.” Almost immediately, I felt a force of comfort come over me. It was heavier than the air and my heart beat calmed down for the first time that night.

“Come back. Return. Love resides within”

I was being called to return to my soul. A place that I tried to mask for years. In order for me to know love, I had to begin with myself at the cellular level and begin to heal. I realized that I had to go within, be alone and find the courage to let go.

This event was a catalyst to my soul. I started a search where I wanted to find what was sparked inside of me that night. I knew it wasn’t the God full of judgement and fear I grew up believing but one that was loving, peaceful and full of grace.

In a moment of fear, I was comforted by something outside of myself. This began my journey to where I am today. It shook me to my core and demanded that I learn to love differently starting with myself.

*If you or someone you know  is a victim of domestic violence, here are some resources to get help:

National Network to End Domestic Violence

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

Finding Balance

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Saying “yes” has been an issue for me in the past. At times, in my attempt to help others, I have forgotten to be there for myself. Perhaps this is middle child syndrome–not wanting to disappoint and make sure every one is okay. Whatever the case, I have learned that “yes” sometimes leads to a lack of balance in my life.

For the past year, I have been working on balance. This has been an amazing year with the most wonderful things: a new relationship, writing a book, new business ventures and lots of friendship and family time. However, amidst all of this lovely, I have found myself in anxious and exhausted moments feeling off balance.

I allow my equilibrium to falter. The pendulum swings to and fro and I find myself feeling lost in the middle of everything. I learned to recognize the moments when I need to say “no” to allow for the right “yes” to occur. This was a difficult lesson for me, especially when building a business. My desire to be there in my best possible mindset requires that I heed to this lesson in order to show up correctly in business and in life.

I wanted to be able to accommodate each request, but had to continuously return to my values and mission statements to remind myself what I truly wanted to create. If it doesn’t serve the purpose or goal, I had to decide whether or not to say “no.”

Finding space to answer this question was difficult at first. But, there is always a place that brings me the peace to regain my balance–I had to be still and go within.

When I take the time to quiet my mind and surroundings, I can enter a place of peace where I reconnect with my purpose and intentions. This is a sweet spot for my soul. Once I settle into the stillness, answers appear and calm takes over.

To begin moments of stillness, I practice this simple, mindful practice:

  1. Sit down and close my eyes
  2. Begin taking slow, deep breaths
  3. Count each inhale and exhale up to 10 (inhale: 1, exhale, 2…)
  4. Repeat until calm (usually 3-4 times)

This momentary pause to become present with my breath can calm the nerves of anxiety as well as create balance within.

After I find the stillness, I write down what is actually occurring. In this place, I usually find the “no” that needs to be said or the task that isn’t an actual priority. Once I am able to release the unnecessary “yes” or task, I feel free. Although saying “no” the first few times can be uncomfortable, each one brings me closer to purpose, intention and balance.

In a world where busy is easy, stillness and intention must be practiced. Balance thrives when the calendar allows for mindful reflection. When overwhelm takes over, stop, reset, rebalance and sometimes say no.