So This is Love

Read More

One year ago, I went on my first date with the man I fell in love with. I had given up on falling in love as the 2016 New Year began. I gave dating it’s fair shot and found myself disappointed more times than I cared to think about. After years of dating (online, set-ups, apps…) I was ready to throw in the towel and date my passport.

During a discussion with a friend who was newly dating someone she found amazing, I told her that I would spend the year single and just focusing on my work and adventure.

“Just give it one more try.” she encouraged. “You have to keep putting yourself out there even through the disappointment.” I told her that I would think about it and maybe try.

I was scared to put my heart out there again and started to feel the comfort of solitude once more. Was this idea really worthwhile?

When I stepped back from the situation, I realized that I needed to get crystal clear on what I wanted. I saw that my expectations created a sense of control that was actually just causing stress. I wanted to intentionally put myself out there and create the heart space for love to reenter.

So this is what I did:

  • I made a list of what I really wanted and what was the most important and started to visualize this man. At first, I thought it was a joke, but the more I dug deep into what I really wanted, I could actually see and feel it happening.
  • I worked on emulating what I desired. (loving, open, compassionate…)
  • I made sure that if I agreed to go on a date, it would only be if the person seemed to align with this vision.
  • I let go of expectations…This is a big one. Letting go when the heart is involved is so so hard!
  • I trusted that the universe knew exactly who I needed in my life.

That was it. I made this decision and on January 27th, I went on a date with the most amazing man I have ever met.

Something inside of me calmed down after our first encounter. It wasn’t until a few months later that I realized my heart had found a home. 

When I think back on all the struggles, heartaches and tears, I see that I was pushing something to happen that I wasn’t really clear on. With clarity and intentional focus, everything else cleared away. There was no question or anxiety when it came to him and we came together naturally.

Getting to know and falling in love with him has been one of  the greatest adventures of my life. When I decided that I was going to get clear on what I wanted, I opened my eyes, mind and heart to whatever that would be.

I wrote this to give hope. I waited 35 years to find my person. I speak to women all the time in coaching sessions wondering when love will find them. I did not expect to find a man on a little app who happened to have the same values as me.

Don’t give up hope! When we talked about how we met, we realized that we both did the same thing to manifest each other. He had a list and visualized it too. I could not believe it. What you seek is seeking you.

When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.

-Rumi

I kept this quote close to my heart during my years of searching. So for any of you who wonder “WHEN?!” I hope this brings some peace to the “furnace” of anxiety. Get specific (I can’t say this enough) and then let go of control. He’s out there…and so are you. Find your place of patience and allow love to flow. There is peace on the other side of the struggle.

And to my lovely, intentional man: thank you for manifesting, visualizing and showing me that love is effortless and amazing with the right person.

XO

Full Wolf Moon

Read More
JoJoeArt

There is an old parable where a chief tells his grandson about two wolves that live inside each person. “These wolves fight in an intense battle. One is light and the other is dark.”

“The light wolf represents things like love, joy, happiness, peace, generosity and compassion.” The chief explains. “The dark wolf represents things like hatred, sorrow, false pride, envy, worry, greed and guilt.”

“Which one wins the battle?” the grandson inquires.

“The one you feed” the chief replies.

The first full moon of the year is the Wolf Moon. As a hungry wolf looks up to the moon, it howls in hunger, yearning to be fed. This is the time to recognize which side we tend to feed. Since the battle rages within, you have to choice to focus on the light and starve the dark or feed the dark and suffocate the light. This full moon shines a light in these areas:

1) Intuition: Wolves are animals that travel in packs as well as alone. Is this a time where isolation is necessary in order to get in touch with your purpose again? Or Is this a time to surround yourself with others to get out of your head and give of yourself? Isolation and connection both serve a higher purpose. Each are necessary at different times. Tap into your intuition and find ways to support your needs.

2) Hunger: Wolves are hunters. With the new year just beginning, there are goals and aspirations ready to be attained. How are you going after what you really want? Is your inner hunter alive and well? Tap into this nature by writing down specific goals and actions you will take to bring yourself closer to the goal. Feel victory in your gut. Take action.

3) Expression: Wolves howl at the moon expressing their primal energy and inner secrets. What parts of you are you hiding away that you wish you could express? Let the light of the full moon illuminate the part of you that you keep hidden. Write it down, say it out loud, dance it out or even howl at the moon. Expression is key here. Give yourself the freedom to express and release the primal energy that has been pent up.

By tapping into your intuition, you can address the hunger within and express yourself fully. Make an effort to implement what is needed to feed your hunger. Your needs will reveal themselves to you with some time spent in stillness. Embrace them and honor them. Choosing to acknowledge and feed your deepest needs will create balance and fulfillment. Choose which wolf you want to feed.

An Exercise in Acceptance

Read More

Last year I had several lessons on acceptance. There were times where expectations weren’t met and I had the choice to struggle, fight and live with anxiety OR just accept the circumstances and move on. I’d like to say that I practiced the latter with ease, but no, I allowed the struggle to stay real in many cases. It was in these moments that I truly had to open my arms to the universe and cry:

 “I’m letting go now! Please help me move forward.”

I seemed to repeat this prayer often. And you know what?! It was answered each and every time. But the thing is, the way it was answered was not always how I envisioned and this is where I learned the beautiful lesson of acceptance.

The beautiful thing was at the other side of my resistance, was a new plan that I would not have envisioned. When I surrendered to the new reality, I felt everything inside of me relax. I could breath again and my thoughts were no longer hijacked by the anxious grip of control.

The less I resisted, the easier things became.

When you cry out to the universe, it hears you. In fact, it knows exactly what you need. Which is probably why such prayers are uttered from our core, in moments of desperation and anxiety. It is like we try to hold on with every last bit of control until we are left hanging, desperate to find stability once more.

And then, the answers come in; sometimes in a trickle and sometimes in a flood.

When the answers arrive, acceptance begins. In order to fully accept, there has to be an element of remembering where you were before the prayer was lifted. The ego tends to love this tender spot. It can take the temporary relief and decide to take over once again. This is not full acceptance.

One of the hardest lessons to learn is to accept things the way they are and let go of expectations. This is a struggle. It is easy to place expectations on the outcome. When expectations are set, they leave room for disappointment.

To accept is to receive. To receive is to welcome. There is no control here, only openness.

Imagine letting go of a worry and watching it float away into the ether, like a balloon. As you watch it fly higher and higher, you feel lighter. The weight of control is lifted and hands that once held on so tightly are now free to receive whatever is next.

This weightlessness is available on the other side of control. When the answers arrive, squelch the desire to control with gratitude and acceptance. Practice openness and when anxiety wells up, it is a cue that something no longer serves your soul. Release it. Accept whatever needs to enter your life. All will be well.